GERALD IS TALKING TO A BBC REPRESENTATIVE.
GERALD
Hello is this the BBC I wish to complain about your vicious and prejudiced attack...
BBC
Ah now what would your complaint be about? Homophobia, racism, Chris Moyles continuing to live?
GERALD
None of those thank you. Attacks on me Gerald Privett. Hornes and Corden did a half an hour special on me being a twat. What have I ever done to anyone?
BBC
Nothing. But after a recent series of gaffs; Russell Brand drugging and raping Andrew Sacs, David Jason going berzerk in an Indian restuarant with a shotgun. The BBC decided to find the most average none minority in the country. And that Mr Privett is you.
GERALD
You mean your picking on me because I'm not; gay, muslim or black.
BBC
You've even got exactly 2.4 children.
GERALD
My little Tim surivived a shark attack losing 60% of his body. And that's doomed me to a life of persecution by overpaid BBC half wits?
BBC
I'm afraid so Mr Privett.
GERALD
But what possible minority could I join? Wait! I believe Jaqui SMith is right to pay her feckless husband £40,000 of taxpayers money to wank over porn they also paid for.
BBC
But that' madness!
GERALD
And I laughed at Horne and Corden.
BBC
Your insane.
GERALD
Yes along with 10% of the population, I'm in a minority.
BBC
Damnation. Oh well lets dig up some old episodes of The Black and WHite Minstrel show, they must be post modern and ironic by now.
