Jacqui's bondage dungeon

Gordon Brown storms into Jacqui Smith's office.

Gordon : You've done it again. You're a f**king disgrace Jacqui!

Jacqui : It could have been worse Gordon.

Gordon : Porn Films on expenses? How could it have been worse?

Jacqui: They might have found out about the bondage dungeon at my sister's house.

Gordon: What?

Jacqui: It's amazing what you get through on the old expenses claims. I got a brand new cat o nine tails. I guess they thought it was for the whips office.

Gordon: Christ we've got to keep this quiet. Who else knows about this?

Jacqui : Well Harriet helps me run it of course, she looks so f**king good in Latex. And Nigel Griffiths pops along when he's not shagging in his office.

Gordon : This is unbelievable. How often are you there?

Jacqui: Don't you read my expenses claims? I'm there 2 or 3 times a week.

Gordon: You couldn't book me in for a spanking on Wednesday could you?

Nice and quite quick. But why is Gordon after a spanking? A little more explanation could help clear that up.

Maybe add something about a gagging order?!

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Nice one, Bigfella. Short sharp and funny. Just one, thing; cut the 'And Nigel Griffiths pops along when he's not shagging in his office.'. If there's an audience, it could be 'drowned' by the laugh you're sure to get on 'Harriet helps me run it of course, she looks so f**king good in Latex.'

Also Nigel Griffiths 'shagging in his office' is worth a sketch on its own anyway.

Oh - sorry to disagree with Sootyj but I think the Gordon spanking line is a good ending. Once you start 'explaining', you'll be back to your 'same old, same old' ways, as someone once said.

I haven't read the news stories, but was Jacqui Smith's husband watching bondage porn?

Thanks for the feedback guys.

Quote: Morrace @ March 30 2009, 12:49 PM BST

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Nice one, Bigfella. Short sharp and funny. Just one, thing; cut the 'And Nigel Griffiths pops along when he's not shagging in his office.'. If there's an audience, it could be 'drowned' by the laugh you're sure to get on 'Harriet helps me run it of course, she looks so f**king good in Latex.'

Also Nigel Griffiths 'shagging in his office' is worth a sketch on its own anyway.

Oh - sorry to disagree with Sootyj but I think the Gordon spanking line is a good ending. Once you start 'explaining', you'll be back to your 'same old, same old' ways, as someone once said.

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Yeah!!!! You see I do listen! It just takes "old dogs" a long time to learn.

Quote: chipolata @ March 30 2009, 1:25 PM BST

I haven't read the news stories, but was Jacqui Smith's husband watching bondage porn?

View original

Not sure - but you've only got to look at her to see she's into all that stuff!

Quote: bigfella @ March 30 2009, 1:40 PM BST

Thanks for the feedback guys.

Yeah!!!! You see I do listen! It just takes "old dogs" a long time to learn.

Not sure - but you've only got to look at her to see she's into all that stuff!

View original

Have you been to the "old dog whisperer"

Really? How can you tell just by looking at her? Wait, don't tell me - leather stockings? Wonder if those policemen that always accompany her'll be worried they'll be dragged into a uniformed fantasy with truncheon-entendres. (in your next sketch)

Gordon: You couldn't book me in for a spanking on Wednesday could you?

Maybe Gordon could be squeezed in after Ruth Kelly's cilice tightening (she has been a very bad girl)

Ducky x

Quote: Rob0 @ March 30 2009, 1:44 PM BST

Have you been to the "old dog whisperer"

View original

Quote: ducky @ March 30 2009, 1:51 PM BST

Gordon: You couldn't book me in for a spanking on Wednesday could you?

Maybe Gordon could be squeezed in after Ruth Kelly's cilice tightening (she has been a very bad girl)

Ducky x

View original

I did think of adding the line at the end

Jacqui: No need Gordon, You'll already get one from Cameron at Prime Minister's Questions

Quote: bigfella @ March 30 2009, 1:40 PM BST

but you've only got to look at her to see she's into all that stuff!

View original

Enjoyed the sketch also.