British Comedy Guide

Social etiquette and boundaries Page 9

Quote: Badge @ March 28 2009, 2:58 AM GMT

I doubt this very much. Few people, if any, start a thread with the aim of hearing people tell them they have done wrong. Mr Facts was seeking justification for his actions, that is all.

I agree. I'm sure he's a nice guy who I wouldn't mind sharing a pint with, but it actually *is* possible to tell an awful lot about someone and their motivation by what he/she posts on the Internet. I've met hundreds of people "in real life" after meeting them online and I don't recall being surprised by their personalities.

Personally, my comments to Mr. Seefacts were intended to show him another way of looking at things rather than to chastise him for his actions. One of the best things about being human is that we're all allowed to be ourselves - at least to a certain extent.

And this is the bit where we get to the part that the internet is a rubbish place to understand others :)

Nevermind :) I think this has been a very lively discussion!

Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at Large @ March 28 2009, 2:39 AM GMT

*Puts on Hippy Mum hat*

Don, I think the point that Danny and Marc was making it that it was comming across that you were making judgements on Seefacts and his personality based of a few written words on a forum. You know, some of the biggest issues we have on this site and this also appears on others is that too many people make silly judgement about people they've never met and feel that it's right to have a go at them personally because they didn't like a subject or an opinion that was brought up by that person. Ask anyone here who has ever attended a meet. Very few have ever said "Oh so and so is just as I thought they were". Computers are misleading.

The post was about Seefacts looking back at this and wandering if he was in the wrong or right, NOT boasting he was right. He ADMITS it himself he could have been nicer. Everyone here has passed an opinion on if Seefact was right or wrong but you are the only one attempting to take it further by making it personal, asking him if it was you would he do the same to you? I would like to ask if YOU would say that to him if you weren't on the other end on a computer? He is not comming across as a rude bully but you are and that the impression you are putting out there right now which is what Marc and Danny reacted to and you replied, not with any decent facts, but personal and rude remarks, when they were reacting to you in the same kind of reaction you used on Seefacts.

I don't know you as a person. I've never met you, I know little about the kind of person, you are, all I've seen is some posts on this one thread. If I did what you did and judged you soley on those posts, and this is in theory, I would have to say you are a bully. In a post you made a remark about how you were a 6ft boxer and that is intimating language (don't pretend it wasn't, it was and 15 year old boys pull that one) and you back up this image when both Danny and Marc pointed this out by lashing out back with rude comments. That's not fair of me at all, is it? I'm making a snap harsh judgement of someone over something I read. That's not the whole you is it? And it's not very nice, is it? I actually hope you are a good person who cares about people and just wanted to stand up for people you never met making the world better which would be very nice of you.

I'm not saying what ether said was right of what Seefact did wasn't rude but what I am doing is pointing out that judging people over a silly post is dumb. And you are being just as badly behaved as the people you are lashing out at.

We all get a bit carried away. Everyone here does (oh the fun) but I think you'll find we are a nice lot. Even Mr Facts. Grudges are rarely held. If they were, not one would post. Tea? :)

I don't think he was being a bully at all. It was an attempt to glean if a different age and and shape would have got a different response.

Quote: DaButt @ March 28 2009, 3:14 AM GMT

I agree. I'm sure he's a nice guy who I wouldn't mind sharing a pint with, but it actually *is* possible to tell an awful lot about someone and their motivation by what he/she posts on the Internet. I've met hundreds of people "in real life" after meeting them online and I don't recall being surprised by their personalities.

Personally, my comments to Mr. Seefacts were intended to show him another way of looking at things rather than to chastise him for his actions. One of the best things about being human is that we're all allowed to be ourselves - at least to a certain extent.

The people I've met from the internet met my expectations exactly. In most cases a good thing:)

Quote: Little Jersey Devil @ March 28 2009, 4:02 AM GMT

The people I've met from the internet met my expectations exactly. In most cases a good thing:)

Not mine, Valery, the 19 year old Lithuanian Au Pair who was 'horny for Eengleesh Gentalman' turned out to be a 50 year old lorry driver from Rotheram called Reg.

Still, he looked good in a dress. Smarmy

All I was saying was you can't make a snap judgement on what you read (or part read as it appears) about a person on a post on a forum. Don felt the need to make a big stand but probably wasn't taking into account that Seefacts isn't always like that, not having met the guy and I was saying that because someone the comments he made IN RESPONSE seemed rude like saying Danny was a virgin and commenting on Marcs book, that if I was to take that same stance, I would have called him a bully. I didn't say he actually was and was making a point about the internet not being a good place to make snap judgements about another person. I even said that is was likely Don was a nice guy who was standing up for people he never met cause he was a good guy but if I was going by a snap irrational judgement, I could read those posts and assume he was a bully type.

In another words I was trying to mantain a little bit of peace before it blew up even more, things got said, and we had yet another thread closed.

Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at Large @ March 28 2009, 4:30 AM GMT

In another words I was trying to mantain a little bit of peace before it blew up even more, things got said, and we had yet another thread closed.

I don't think it got anywhere close to that point. Everyone was civil and I don't think anyone was readying the torches. Just a simple case of differing opinions ...

Quote: Seefacts @ March 26 2009, 11:03 PM GMT

Half-way through our food an old couple approach us and say 'Excuse me, would you mind if we sat and watched you eat (chuckles) Only kidding, we're eating too'. To which I, perhaps rudely, replied 'Well, yes we would'. ...

Did I do the right thing?

Good manners cost nothing. I was brought up to always offer my seat on a bus/train/tram/ferry to anyone female, elderly or infirm. (Aside: Read a book and/or be plugged in to music if you don't want strangers starting conversations on public transport). As for restaurant etiquette, I have been in both situations: nowhere to sit so I join a table - and people asking me if they can join because there are no spare tables. Sure, I've encountered the occasional talkative bore (but no matter, as I can out-bore the dullest of them), but mostly people keep to themselves. Also, sharing tables has resulted in some great friendships that have lasted for years. In your case you'd be most unlikely to become best pals with the old couple that wanted to join your table, but no matter. If they had joined, you should not have suddenly sanitized your conversation with your friend - just carried on swearing about your latest sexual exploits or rape fantasies (or whatever it was you were chatting about) and the couple would probably take the hint not to interrupt and instead make their own conversation.

Entirely up to you not to share a table - and no one should feel upset at being refused a seat - but if two people do take a five-seat table they ought to expect that others may want to dine there.

Nevertheless, all this is missing the point: What did you have to eat and drink?

Quote: don rushmore @ March 27 2009, 11:10 PM GMT

At no point have I been a bully here, Marc. I was only asking Seefacts if his retort would have been more respectful had he been addressing a different audience.

Unlike Seefacts, I don't pick on easy subjects. If I did, I'd pick on your unoriginal, extremely badly written novel.

Be my guest! :)

I would point out mind, to ignore any of my posts made well past the cocktail hour. I wasn't really calling you a bully just turning the bullying argument around. If a six foot boxer wanted to sit at my table it would really depend whether he had tatooes on his face or not.

I reckon I could have Muhammad Ali in a fight. Now obviously, not back then.

He would quite literally 'not know what hit him'. :O

Quote: Seefacts @ March 26 2009, 11:03 PM GMT

Did I do the right thing?

We can all offer opinions on the scenario but you lived the moment and made your decision.

I'm guessing you feel you could've handled the situation better, which should answer your own question.

Cracking thread BTW, stayed on topic, which is unusual.

Quote: Marc P @ March 28 2009, 9:57 AM GMT

I would point out mind, to ignore any of my posts made well past the cocktail hour. I wasn't really calling you a bully just turning the bullying argument around. If a six foot boxer wanted to sit at my table it would really depend whether he had tatooes on his face or not.

No problem, Marc. Not for the first time on here, certain comments have been lost in translation. For the record, I enjoyed your book, and look forward to the next installment. :)

Quote: don rushmore @ March 28 2009, 12:29 PM GMT

No problem, Marc. Not for the first time on here, certain comments have been lost in translation. For the record, I enjoyed your book, and look forward to the next installment. :)

Cheers Don, very gentlemanly of you!

Unfortunately my comments which get lost in translation occur after having alcohol taken and my sparkling wit is often perceived differently by others! I prefer the second critique by the way, lol.

:)

Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at Large @ March 28 2009, 2:39 AM GMT

Very few have ever said "Oh so and so is just as I thought they were".

Well, not in public...

Bloody blimey. This thread really did explode from nothing.

I'm not wading through all the crap on here, but Seefacts was right to refuse as far as I'm concerned. If you have a table and don't want to share it, you shouldn't have to, especially if you're actually having a meal. Simple.

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