British Comedy Guide

Social etiquette and boundaries

I posted in General, but I think the wider issue deserved it's own thread.

So, picture the scene.

I went to lunch with a friend today. I get to the busy bar and it's packed out, only one table left, which I sit at. It's a table for five. I'm sat there waiting for my friend, whilst I peruse the menu.

My friend joins me, making it two people and three empty seats.

Half-way through our food an old couple approach us and say 'Excuse me, would you mind if we sat and watched you eat (chuckles) Only kidding, we're eating too'. To which I, perhaps rudely, replied 'Well, yes we would'.

Now, had we let them join us it would have effectively ruined our tete-a-tete. We couldn't relax, and talk as frankly as we do. We would have to had stopped swearing or discussing anything risque. The table would have also been quite tight, as it was elliptical.

Now, surely the rule in this situation is - if there's nowhere to sit, you f**k off and find somewhere else?

Did I do the right thing?

It depends if you are Northern?

Quote: Marc P @ March 26 2009, 11:12 PM GMT

It depends if you are Northern?

Born, but not raised.

Quote: Seefacts @ March 26 2009, 11:13 PM GMT

Born, but not raised.

Then you did the right thing!

:D

Quote: Seefacts @ March 26 2009, 11:13 PM GMT

Born, but not raised.

Then you did the right thing!

:D

Quote: Seefacts @ March 26 2009, 11:03 PM GMT

Did I do the right thing?

No.

Old people are notoriously deaf, so you could have safely chatted away about your secret club or whatever it was you wanted to discuss privately. :)

Do you feel guilty? :)

Saying no wasn't rude, but there are probably polite ways of saying no and rude ways. Did you smile at least, or say sorry or anything?

Quote: zooo @ March 26 2009, 11:18 PM GMT

Do you feel guilty? :)

Saying no wasn't rude, but there are probably polite ways of saying no and rude ways. Did you smile at least, or say sorry or anything?

I don't feel guilty, just maybe that I caved in and was showing off a little.

My friend did suggest looking out back for a place to sit, so that made me look less bad.

If you want to discuss private issues go somewhere private. You said yourself it was rammed so you had no chance of a quiet tete-a-tete anyway. Wrong in my eyes but then I'm short sighted so you may be ok after all.

Quote: roscoff @ March 26 2009, 11:22 PM GMT

If you want to discuss private issues go somewhere private. You said yourself it was rammed so you had no chance of a quiet tete-a-tete anyway. Wrong in my eyes but then I'm short sighted so you may be ok after all.

Well, it was just a friendly chat. The point I was raising was people shouldn't ever join another table of strangers, in my view.

Quote: Seefacts @ March 26 2009, 11:28 PM GMT

Well, it was just a friendly chat. The point I was raising was people shouldn't ever join another table of strangers, in my view.

Rule of thumb for me is restaurant I agree, pub disagree.

Quote: roscoff @ March 26 2009, 11:32 PM GMT

Rule of thumb for me is restaurant I agree, pub disagree.

Hmmm, interesting view point.

Why do you say that?

If it's a big table I think it's okay for them to ask - where there will be a nice big gap between you and them. But it's very uncomfortable if they are right next to you, I certainly wouldn't be the askee.

Not really.

I can understand not wanting to share a table with strangers, it's bit odd and I'm surprised they asked but the best thing would have been to make something up about needing a personal chat or something. They probably really needed a sit down if they were elderly hence not looking too far!

But you can't dwell on stuff like that. I'm sure they've already forgotten about it. :) In fact, I'm certain Smarmy

Quote: zooo @ March 26 2009, 11:34 PM GMT

If it's a big table I think it's okay for them to ask - where there will be a nice big gap between you and them. But it's very uncomfortable if they are right next to you, I certainly wouldn't be the askee.

Yeah, it would have been tight. And we'd done 'next to' rather than 'opposites' when we sat down, so we'd have been sat opposite the old buggers.

I admit I should have been more polite and not a rude c**t though.

Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at Large @ March 26 2009, 11:36 PM GMT

Not really.

I can understand not wanting to share a table with strangers, it's bit odd and I'm surprised they asked but the best thing would have been to make something up about needing a personal chat or something. They probably really needed a sit down if they were elderly hence not looking too far!

But you can't dwell on stuff like that. I'm sure they've already forgotten about it. :) In fact, I'm certain Smarmy

But dwelling on small social foibles is what I love doing.

Quote: Seefacts @ March 26 2009, 11:37 PM GMT

Yeah, it would have been tight. And we'd done 'next to' rather than 'opposites' when we sat down, so we'd have been sat opposite the old buggers.

Oh god!
Cue extremely awkward chit chat about the weather.

Nightmare.

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