He's Black

Amy and Sam are sitting in the living room

Sam: So, it's been a while Amy. What have you been up to?

Amy: Well, I got myself a boyfriend

Sam: Really?! Ah so that's why I've not heard from you.. go on then.. what is he like?

Amy: Well his name is Carl. He's great. Really great. He's sweet, interesting, funny. Very funny

Sam: And... What's he look like?

Amy: Oh, he's lovely, nice smile, muscely, dark hair. (whispers) Black

Sam: Sorry?

Amy: Nice smile, muscley, dark hair. (whispers) Black

Sam: Pardon?

Amy: Nice smile, dark hair..(whispers) Black.

Sam: What?

Amy: Oh he's just lovely

Sam: Yeah but what did you just say?

Amy: I said lovely.

Sam: Before that..

Amy: Oh.. before that? I said he's ... you know... (whispers) Black.

Sam: Didn't quite catch that

Amy: (whispers) Black

Sam: And again?

Amy: (whispers) Black

Sam: Missed it..

Amy: (whispers) Black

Sam: One more time..

Amy: (whispers) Black

Sam: Oh for heavens sake Amy.. speak up!

Amy: (Shouting and jumping around) BLACK!! He is BLACK okay. Happy now? He's black. He's completely black. My boyfriend is a black guy. BLACK. BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!! BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK. BLACK, BLACK BLACK BLACK BLACK.

Suddenly we see that Amy's boyfriend is standing beside them

Carl: Hi, um.. you left your bag in my car so I thought I would drop it off.

(Awkward silence)

Carl: I'll let myself out..

(Sam and Amy wait in silence until they hear the door slam behind him)

Sam: So why didn't you just say that in the first place?

Amy: I didn't want to be racist

Sam: Amy, 'black' is not a racist term

Amy: Its not? Phew! So what just happened shouldn't be a problem then?

Sam: Oh now.. that will be a problem.

Amy. Oh.. (shouting after him) Carl! Wait! (She runs out the door)

I quite like it. I think there is to much of the whispering it makes the pace a little slow. I liked the end though

This would be performed really pacey and quick, with the dialogue being zipped through in performance. The whispered 'blacks' would be very quick so the actual act of whispering shouldn't slow the pace up in any way.

Very funny sketch. Good characters and dialogue. I can also see it included as part of a double act or sitcom scene.

Agree with Morrace. It reads like a [good] sitcom excerpt.

Nice sketch. You can tell it is supposed to be snappy, quickfire dialogue.

I would maybe suggest having another look at the ending though - perhaps a little twist in there would give it a bigger laugh at the end.

I didn't like it - what's meant to be funny?

Where is the punchline, I think it's a bit weak on material but meh people like I won't complain with the consensus.

unless it's to do with My Family...

Hmm read that back it sounds harsh...

Sorry...

I liked it.

There's a woman at work who genuinely does that. She whispers black, and thinks it's racist to draw attention to it.
You can see her eyes darting around as she tries to think of another way to say it, she usually ends up with 'dark'.

She is mental. And hilarious. Poor cow.

Quote: Paul W @ March 26 2009, 2:53 PM GMT

I didn't like it - what's meant to be funny?

Where is the punchline, I think it's a bit weak on material but meh people like I won't complain with the consensus.

unless it's to do with My Family...

Hmm read that back it sounds harsh...

Sorry...

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You're in a (whispers) .... minority.

Would it be funnier given as these are middle class PC type ladies for him to be white?

Oooh.

He's not wrong.

Quote: Marc P @ March 26 2009, 3:10 PM GMT

Would it be funnier given as these are middle class PC type ladies for him to be white?

View original

Would it be funnier if Carl takes out his cock; and given as these are middle class PC type ladies, they take turns sucking it?

Quote: Morrace @ March 26 2009, 3:43 PM GMT

Would it be funnier if Carl takes out his cock; and given as these are middle class PC type ladies, they take turns sucking it?

View original

Not really.

Quote: Marc P @ March 26 2009, 3:10 PM GMT

Would it be funnier given as these are middle class PC type ladies for him to be white?

View original

Quote: Morrace @ March 26 2009, 3:43 PM GMT

Would it be funnier if Carl takes out his cock; and given as these are middle class PC type ladies, they take turns sucking it?

View original

Quote: Marc P @ March 26 2009, 5:20 PM GMT

Not really.

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Turn it into a musical?

I'm not sure you are understanding the underlying thrust of my point Morrace.

But that's okay!