It's murder.

MISS MARPLE IS ADRESSING A DRAWING ROOM.

MARPLE
I've gathered you all together to reveal perhaps the greatest mystery of my career. Who slew the great Belgian detective Hercule Poirot? Who so horribly murdered the short arsed, slapheaded fudge packer? Did I mention he was foreign? It was....

SHE IS BEATEN TO DEATH WITH A MOTORCYCLE.
WE TURN TO SEE NICK BERRY.

PC NICK BERRY.
And who killed the sharp witted, piss scented, interfering gossipy witch Miss Marple? Who could have been so annoyed by the dreary twee television adaptations of stories that make no ruddy sense when they were written? Who could...

A GUN SHOT RINGS OUT.
MICHEAL GRADE'S STANDING THERE WITH A GUN.

GRADE
It was the credit crunch that killed them. Now piss off before I make another series of Xfactor.

Beaten to death with a motorcycle?

Nice idea though. Glad to see it had a happy ending with Nick Berry's death.

I once saw a Jet Li film where he was beating people with a motorcycle - he had one in each hand if I remember right.

I'm not sure what this sketch was about. A sweary Miss Marple gets bumped off by Nick Berry who gets killed by Micheal Grade. What's going on? What are you trying to say?

Quote: David Bussell @ March 23 2009, 11:40 PM GMT

I once saw a Jet Li film where he was beating people with a motorcycle - he had one in each hand if I remember right.

I'm not sure what this sketch was about. A sweary Miss Marple gets bumped off by Nick Berry who gets killed by Micheal Grade. What's going on? What are you trying to say?

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Alas a rather overcooked semitopical effort. In this case the joke being how Grade is killing off all the BBCs detective shows because of the credit crunch.

Oh well back to the drawing board.

Ahh, I see. I hadn't read that.

Quote: David Bussell @ March 23 2009, 11:40 PM GMT

I once saw a Jet Li film where he was beating people with a motorcycle - he had one in each hand if I remember right.

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Film is called 'The One'.

Sketch is quite nice would fit in with the Headcases kinda animated thing.

Heads? Ouch!

You've taken me down a peg you hear me? A whole peg.

Quote: Gavin @ March 26 2009, 11:55 AM GMT

Film is called 'The One'.

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That's.... The One.

With Adrian Chiles? Is he the goody or the baddy?

Quote: sootyj @ March 26 2009, 12:03 PM GMT

Heads? Ouch!

You've taken me down a peg you hear me? A whole peg.

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Didn't mean it negative mate, meant in that style.

Quote: sootyj @ March 26 2009, 12:07 PM GMT

With Adrian Chiles? Is he the goody or the baddy?

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Welcome to The One I'm Adrain Chiles and I'll be foughting Jet Li on the top of a steam train. But first here's a report on Moss.