Tarot card reading

INT. GYPSY CARAVAN

A GYPSY WOMAN IS SAT ROUND A CANDLE LIT TABLE WITH A MAN SAT WAITING PATIENTLY OPPOSITE.

SHE TURNS THE CARDS OVER ONE AT A TIME AS SHE SPEAKS

GYPSY

SHAKES HEAD

Oh dearthat's very bad

TURNS ANOTHER CARD AND WINCES

Oh no it just gets worse

THE MAN IS LOOKING MORE AND MORE WORRIED

I don't believe it

SHE TURNS ANOTHER CARD

Terrible terrible luck

SHE TURNS ANOTHER

Oh my God, this is awful

THE MAN CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE

MAN
Well!

THE GYPSY SITS BACK AND PONDERS FOR A MOMENT

GYPSY
Do you have Mrs Bun the Bakers wife?

It's OK - but quite a set-up for a not great laugh.

It's just a bit meh (to use a horrible term). Not amazing crit, I know - but figured the lack of responses probably suggests that others find it inoffensive, but unremarkable.

The punchline is ancient.

It's an oldie to be sure.

Just didn't work. as m'learned collegues said, it is an old line. keep trying, though.

Quote: don rushmore @ March 22 2009, 10:27 PM GMT

The punchline is ancient.

View original

Haha! Yeah it is pretty ancient. I must be losing touch with "the kids". Perhaps I should end it with a good old stabbing!

Sorry Tom, didn't really work for me either.

.
In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.
And God said, Let there be a joke about a gypsy woman sitting around a candle lit table with a man sat waiting patiently opposite......
.

Quote: Morrace @ March 23 2009, 8:57 PM GMT

.
In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.
And God said, Let there be a joke about a gypsy woman is sat round a candle lit table with a man sat waiting patiently opposite......
.

View original

Now I know how James Corden must feel!

Nowt wrong with re-cycling old jokes (very green thing to do) but (1) make sure they're not well known and (2) turn them upside-down, inside-out to make sure they're unrecognisable to the general public. Mind you, old hacks like me have a trained eye and can usually spot 'em!