Old teenage diary found from 1983!

My mum made bring a box home which had been stored in their loft. In it was an old diary from 1983 and was horrified by what an oik I was.

I could post some quite disturbing entries but I'll pick one and an unsent letter that was inbetween pages.

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January 17th 1983

Got up 715 hours and watched Breccy TV. Had French 1st lesson, second lesson was chemistry and third lesson English. Saw Tanya bend over giving me a very nice view. In the afternoon we had geography and maths. In the evening did some RE homework and worked on the 'Tanya' song. Not bad. Liverpool beat West Ham 2-1 in the Milk Cup. Went to bed 2200 hours.

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Dear beloved Tanya,

You probably won't take notice of this letter but it symbolises just how people feel about you in the third year. I enjoy your company very much but I'm shy which is probably why I don't get anywhere. What I am going to do now is hypnotise you to start liking me and not Stephen who is also trying hard to get your attention so desparetly.

Yours and ever lovingly...

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Gripping stuff, eh? The previous day was the start of the very first breakfast TV show which shows how long ago it was and on that day I watched Mike Yarwood in the evening. I thought he was great at the time but he was a terrible impersonator.

I remember Tanya obviously but even I admit this was a bit creepy. The 'Tanya' song? What the hell was that and as for the hyptnotism line...YIKES!

When you find old childhood diaries filled with cringingly embarrassing entries, one option is to set up some simple science lab-style distillation equipment: a bunsen burner, a large rounded boiling flask, a fractioning column, a condenser and a collection vessel. Tear the diaries up so they will fit inside the boiling flask, place the flask above the bunsen burner, attach the fractioning column at the top of the condenser, which should have cold water running in and out of its extremity to act as a coolant. Then simply start the bunsen burner and as the paper burns, your childhood thoughts, memories, words and dreams will rise up to the top of the fractioning column as vapor. The most vapid parts of the vapor will then condense on the glass in the column and run or drip back down onto the burning paper; but the purest memories and dreams will become gaseous and rise all the way to the top of the column, from where they will pass into the condenser, cool down and liquefy. This liquid of pure memories then runs into the collection vessel. Once the process is completed, you can drink, inject or snort those precious memories - or even boil and inhale them. Be careful the resultant rush of nostalgia for innocence and simpler times does not prove fatal.

Tuumble, that is awesome.

Quote: Tuumble @ March 21 2009, 2:36 AM GMT

Saw Tanya bend over giving me a very nice view.

Dear beloved Tanya,

You probably won't take notice of this letter but it symbolises just how people feel about you in the third year. I enjoy your company very much but I'm shy which is probably why I don't get anywhere. What I am going to do now is hypnotise you to start liking me and not Stephen who is also trying hard to get your attention so desparetly.

Yours and ever lovingly...

View original

This is brilliant - if only the Adrian Mole books hadn't been published already you could clean up in that market! Not sad at all and for what it's worth 'Stephen' sounds like a loser!

Jx

Quote: Tuumble @ March 21 2009, 2:36 AM GMT

I could post some quite disturbing entries

View original

Hungry for more, please. Particularly more on your thoughts about what might transpire after you'd successfully hypnotised Tanya. Thanks.

We'll see...

Ha! I've found an entry where my eyes were wandering but I went back to my first love...

January 27th 1983

Got up 715 hours. Had maths first then biology and swimmiung. In the afternoon we had double TD. After school had school footy tournament - lost 2-1 in the final and then had practice with Rangers. Didn't play well but think I'm the team for Sunday. When I left I saw Jacqui B who smiled at me (but I think it was a joke). Went to bed at 2130 hours.

January 29th 1983

Got up at 600 hours. Started chess marathon at 700 hours. Played 17 moves in the day. In between moves spent most of the time over by Tanya's table. I really enjoyed watching Angus, Dave, Tanya and Kate playing AND watching Tanya's boobs bouncing!! Resigned in the middle of the game.

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If that entry seems a bit odd it was our geography teacher's attempt to set a world record in playing the most people at chess simultaneously. He beat the old world record by playing 220 I think but someone in Spain had either beaten it already or did it soon after by playing 250 if memory serves.

Found mine from 1981.

Dear Diary,

I have 3 new zits and my BMX is looking well good.

Also good to see Peter Sutcliffe arrested, looks like I'm going to get away with my naughtiness.
I did like those holidays to Leeds though....

Ha ha. Radio 4 are doing something similar to this, starting in a couple of weeks time: https://www.comedy.co.uk/radio/my_teenage_diaries/

Yes, I couldn't help thinking Adrian Mole too.

And doesn't the sentence "When I left I saw Jacqui B who smiled at me (but I think it was a joke)", just sum up teenage low self-esteem brilliantly?

I dread reading back my diaries even now, so God knows what I'll think ten years from now!

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ March 21 2009, 3:56 PM GMT

And doesn't the sentence "When I left I saw Jacqui B who smiled at me (but I think it was a joke)", just sum up teenage low self-esteem brilliantly?

View original

Yes.

Although I prefer to call it realism.

Another entry...

It was about 20 to 8, Thursday 12th May and me and Bill were going home after training when I heard a calling. At first I thought it wasn't aimed at me but then Bill told me a girl by the Spar was shouting at me. I turned and saw a girl waving and saying something. I turned and Bill said "Ooh! Sexy Jeremy!". "Yer what?" I replied and he said "She said 'Jeremy ooooo! Hey, sexy!"

I turned and saw her still waving. I put my hand up as a wave, stopped, and then lifted it again. Looking back it seemed that that shy streak of mine came back to haunt me. It seemed strange that you can have a stutter in a wave but as far as girls are concerned it's natural. I smiled and waved at least (maybe I'm coming on through)

The line: "Jeremy...hey sexy!" Still gets me [heart] <-- here.

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Jeez!