British Comedy Guide

Help required with my new sitcom about a taxi firm

I know it's been done before - there is a dimly remembered American sitcom which ran to several seasons about a Taxi company, starring Howard Deveto, and a Keith Barron vehicle (no pun intended) from the mid nineties which was about as amusing as Barrymore in bathing trunks - but I think I've come up with a new slant on it: it is a radio sitcom, set in a taxi rank (working title: "He's Just Turning Down Your Street Now") where the drivers are all patently unsuited to the job. There's a washed-up cabaret singer, a retired jewel thief, a resting actor (played by Martin Jarvis), a female wrestler and a former MP, an out-of-work sex therapist (a running gag is that he gets referred to always as "the rapist"), a surly tinker and an astronaut.

I need some help though. Shows like this are reliant on amusing plot twists. Are there any cabbies out there reading this who could share any hilarious real-life incidents that happened to them which I can steal wholesale and shoehorn into my scripts?

My first sitcom script was based on a taxi company. Almost every person I sent it to said they were working on something similar. It's an idea with a lot of possibilities for comic behaviour which is why lots of people choose this as a setting for a sitcom.

I don't want to put you off though as if your characters are good enough then it will be judged on that and not the situation.

8 different cab drivers, presumably someone in the cab office and then a host of various passengers?

Just for reference, there was a radio sitcom, Pick-Ups, based on a taxi company last year sometime. It had John Thompson and Sally Lindsay in it.

Dan

Moving this to Writers' Discussion. My only thought on reading it is that having all of the cabbies "patently unsuited" to the job feels a bit extreme. For every three or four key characters, have one secondary character who is perfect for the role. If nothing else, it highlights how bad the rest of them are.

I threw a little paddy and deleted this post.

Have one driver always claiming to have won loads at a casino and inviting his female passengers to join him in a celebratory drink, with hilarious consequences.

"Taxi" is hardly "dimly-remembered", it's one of the best-loved comedies of all time. And it's Danny DeVito, not Howard.

But anyway, I believe there are several million taxi firm scripts floating around - maybe it's just an obvious choice. That's not to say it wouldn't get made if it wasn't good enough of course. I'm sure there was an asian comedy on Radio 4 about a taxi firm a while ago though.

And that may be a problem with your exclusively-white characters...(there's nobody whiter than Martin Jarvis!). How many taxi firms do you know who employ mostly white drivers? Maybe it's just my area but there aren't any at all. Seriously, I haven't met a non-asian cabbie for years.

Actually my Dad did a stint as a cabbie back in the sixties and told me how his mate had taken a guy from Middlesbrough to London. Obviously the fare was astronomical and when he finally got there, the guy had died. The cabbie went through the corpse's pockets and got the fare before contacting the police. There's a story for you!

Quote: NoggetFred @ March 18 2009, 12:30 PM GMT

Have one driver always claiming to have won loads at a casino and inviting his female passengers to join him in a celebratory drink, with hilarious consequences.

>_<

One plotline has the Martin Jarvis character being offered three day's work as a body-double for Ross Kemp in his new ITV action drama ("Apparently they needed a couple of extra shots of the back of Ross's head, but he was unavailable due to an inflamed cuticle") - thus, "Jarvis" has his head shaved and tries to adopt a 'cockerney barrer-boy' accent - he gets mistaken for the real Ross Kemp by a violent gang leader he picks up in his cab and gets 'invited' to a gang rally, whereupon he is forced to engage in bare-knuckle fighting with a one-eyed psychopath. There's a humourous misunderstanding with a puffin, a geiger counter, and a bit of sauce about Jordan's boobs (always a winner), and it ends with "Jarvis" miraculously winning the fight and being elected into the gang's inner sanctum.

But I'm stuck for a neat tie-up.

Quote: WoodMeister @ March 18 2009, 12:28 PM GMT

Wasn't there also a John Sullivan sitcom about a taxi firm?

A little more comedy-drama than sitcom, but yes; Roger Roger. There was also Simon Nye's Carrie & Barry, in which Neil Morrissey played a cabbie. Also a quick Google has thrown up Streets Apart, although how much cabbie-ness was featured in it I'm not aware.

Quote: Sebastian Melmoth @ March 18 2009, 12:49 PM GMT

One plotline has the Martin Jarvis character being offered three day's work as a body-double for Ross Kemp in his new ITV action drama ("Apparently they needed a couple of extra shots of the back of Ross's head, but he was unavailable due to an inflamed cuticle") - thus, "Jarvis" has his head shaved and tries to adopt a 'cockerney barrer-boy' accent - he gets mistaken for the real Ross Kemp by a violent gang leader he picks up in his cab and gets 'invited' to a gang rally, whereupon he is forced to engage in bare-knuckle fighting with a one-eyed psychopath. There's a humourous misunderstanding with a puffin, a geiger counter, and a bit of sauce about Jordan's boobs (always a winner), and it ends with "Jarvis" miraculously winning the fight and being elected into the gang's inner sanctum.

But I'm stuck for a neat tie-up.

That sounds quite good, but very visual!

Quote: Lee Henman @ March 18 2009, 12:41 PM GMT

And that may be a problem with your exclusively-white characters...(there's nobody whiter than Martin Jarvis!). How many taxi firms do you know who employ mostly white drivers? Maybe it's just my area but there aren't any at all. Seriously, I haven't met a non-asian cabbie for years.

Maybe it could be set in the past, any period in the last 300 years: from wiki : "The first hackney-carriage licences date from 1662, and applied literally to horse-drawn carriages, later modernised as hansom cabs (1834), that operated as vehicles for hire. There was a distinction between a general hackney carriage and a hackney coach, a hireable vehicle with specifically four wheels, two horses and six seats, and driven by a jarvey (also spelled jarvie)."

(Jarvie? Jarvis?)

Quote: NoggetFred @ March 18 2009, 1:15 PM GMT

Maybe it could be set in the past.

Or, you know, have some non-white people in it?

What's all the white business about? I don't see "no darkies" or any such phrase to that effect in Sebastian's posts. Apart from the hopefuly specification of Martin Jarvis as the actor, there's no indication of any characters' personal backgrounds.

A great idea, Sebastian

I love the characters you have in mind, i.e., a washed-up cabaret singer, a retired jewel thief, a resting actor, a female wrestler, a former MP, an out-of-work sex therapist, a surly tinker and an astronaut. These are sound ingredients for a hilarious sitcom. You obviously have a great sense of humour! I look forward to the first episode - hopefully, there will be one.

Long may you stay on this site, Sebastian!

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