British Comedy Guide

You know you are scum when... Page 3

You have your wedding list at Iceland.

Quote: sootyj @ March 16 2009, 5:08 PM GMT

You're the kind of person who agrees with Gordon Brown when he's being a bit racist.

You edit others posts to make them look proconservative.

Quote: sootyj @ March 17 2009, 5:26 PM GMT

You edit others posts to make them look proconservative.

Not pro-c/Conservative. Just anti-Gordo. ;)

...you consider a curry to be the height of sophisticated cuisine.

Your children don't know how to use a knife and fork due to a constant diet of McDonalds.

Despite eating Turkish kebabs, Indian Curries and Chinese noodles, you won't even try sushi because 'it ain't cooked and it's foreign muck'.

Finally, and this is a true story, I once took a young woman out to dinner and there was sharks fin on the menu. I asked if she'd like to try some and she replied 'Oh no, what if that shark ate someone, then it would be like me eating people'.

Where did you find that one? :D

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ March 17 2009, 7:21 PM GMT

Finally, and this is a true story, I once took a young woman out to dinner and there was sharks fin on the menu. I asked if she'd like to try some and she replied 'Oh no, what if that shark ate someone, then it would be like me eating people'.

Laughing out loud Laughing out loud

Finally, and this is a true story, I once took a young woman out to dinner and there was sharks fin on the menu. I asked if she'd like to try some and she replied 'Oh no, what if that shark ate someone, then it would be like me eating people'.

I guess a blow job was out of the question then!

She's a keeper. Wheel her out at parties and have her say stupid things for twiglets.

You know your scum when your extended family is the estate you live on.

You know your scum when you smoke when pregnant. Extra points if you sug Thunderbird as well. Superpoints if scumspring two arrives exactly nine months after scumspring one slithered down your leg in the toilets outside Marks and Sparks.

Quote: Balf @ March 17 2009, 8:28 PM GMT

She's a keeper. Wheel her out at parties and have her say stupid things for twiglets.

Laughing out loud

Everyone in the family wears only football tops but your kids never have their P.E kit for school.

You have all of the sport and movie channels, and a huge flatscreen TV, but claim benefits/go hungry/etc.

(Size of television and television subscription package are inversely proportional to the household income.)

You start having babies in shades rather than colours cos you've used them all.

Laughing out loud Laughing out loud

Quote: roscoff @ March 17 2009, 9:17 PM GMT

You start having babies in shades rather than colours cos you've used them all.

Ros Wins.

Flawless Victory.

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