British Comedy Guide

I need a job, help me, although...

.....I don't know how you can help me.

I'm out of work, have been since the end of January. Left my last job cause no amount of money was worth me feeling the way I did at the end of the day working there. Not the best time to leave but couldn't stand it anymore. I've been asked back, I refused though.

So, I apply for jobs but keep being told I'm a day too late to be considered. I've started to apply for anything. I never hear back. I spend most of my time at home and am constantly looking up stuff on the internet to fill my day (porn).

I live in the Norfolk area, I can turn my hand to anything and yes, yes I am desperate. So if you know of anything then let me know. Thanks.

(You may now come back with your "funny" answers).

I'm in exactly the same boat. If you like wiping bums, I'm sure there are many care assistant jobs in your area, I know there is everywhere else.

Or you could try Rent Boy, but that could lead to some nasty arrears. Boom boom!

Guys have you not tried going on new deal workshops? They are designed to help you with CV templates, training, and interviews. Your job centre should be able to help providing you are on benefits.

How do you do with CV and cover letters?

Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at Large @ March 17 2009, 4:15 PM GMT

Guys have you not tried going on new deal workshops? They are designed to help you with CV templates, training, and interviews. Your job centre should be able to help providing you are on benefits.

How do you do with CV and cover letters?

I attended that once. I had to travel quite far to the centre, I asked if I could get out of the van to pee. The driver didn't wait and left me in the middle of nowhere! WTF?! I was found, three days later... I had to eat my own arm to survive. True story.

Unimpressed

Ok, Ok, it was my leg. But the rest is true, I'm telling ya!

Lordy, have you considered volunteer work? It's easy to get and providing you don't sign up for more than 16 hours, it won't affect your benefits, plus it shows employers you are willing to work and can teach you skills. Go onto websites and find out what charities are doing in your area.

Also what about courses? The open uni provide free courses to new learners who are out of work (You have to get in quick cause their are limited spaces). Do an openings course which is a little bit like a gcse but designed for people who have no qualifcations at all and no study skills.

Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at Large @ March 17 2009, 4:15 PM GMT

Your job centre should be able to help providing you are on benefits.

If he left his last job voluntarily he won't be entitled to benefits.

If you absolutely have to get a job, Mister Meldrum, you could do worse than working at Waitrose. They take almost anyone, the pay isn't disgraceful for a supermarket job and you get a discount on your grub.

Supermarkets do have a good rep. My friend works for Asda and they get a lot of training oppotunities and discounts.

What's your background qualifications etc? You could always become a chugger. Care can be a lot of fun and pays surprisingly well.

Also try governemnt job sites like lgjobs, Gordy Brown can be a pretty good employer.

Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at Large @ March 17 2009, 4:25 PM GMT

Lordy, have you considered volunteer work? It's easy to get and providing you don't sign up for more than 16 hours, it won't affect your benefits

What the f**k? Volunteering for charity can affect what benefits you can claim? As if further proof were needed that this country is right up the shitter.

Quote: sootyj @ March 17 2009, 5:25 PM GMT

Gordy Brown can be a pretty good employer.

But he did say...

Quote: Lord Meldrum @ March 17 2009, 3:53 PM GMT

Left my last job cause no amount of money was worth me feeling the way I did at the end of the day working there.

;)

As for jobs, I really have no idea what I'm going to do once I finish uni. Apart from spend a few months in a mental institution. Seriously considering looking into woodwork, furniture restoration, etc.

Quote: Aaron @ March 17 2009, 5:58 PM GMT

What the f**k? Volunteering for charity can affect what benefits you can claim? As if further proof were needed that this country is right up the shitter.

If you are on job seekers, it can because the idea is you can only claim if you are willing and able to look for paid work so if you volunteer full time, you break the agreement.

When I used to sign on, we only got to see the "personal adviser" once a month and it would be just to sign and nothing else. When I finally got the chance to talk; I asked about training or anything like it and she replied; Oh there's nothing like that round here and even if there was, it would effect your benefits. :S That happened twice actually :S :S

Don't suppose you are a social care trainer by any chance?

Quote: Leevil @ March 17 2009, 7:00 PM GMT

When I used to sign on, we only got to see the "personal adviser" once a month and it would be just to sign and nothing else. When I finally got the chance to talk; I asked about training or anything like it and she replied; Oh there's nothing like that round here and even if there was, it would effect your benefits. :S That happened twice actually :S :S

How thoroughly depressing. (On many levels.)

Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at Large @ March 17 2009, 6:02 PM GMT

If you are on job seekers, it can because the idea is you can only claim if you are willing and able to look for paid work so if you volunteer full time, you break the agreement.

Well I suppose full time, maybe. But 16 hours? That's ... nothing.

Share this page