Gail Trimble

Something topical I shat out for 7 on 7. Rejected, natch.
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F/X:A GLAMOUR MODEL PHOTO SHOOT.

PHOTOGRAPHER:

Okay, darling, that's fantastic. A little to the left. Smile. Poke your bum out a little more. Great stuff. Now give me that thinking bloke's crumpet look. Lovely. Now, let's see a little bit more of you. Can you take that off?

GAIL:

Absolutely not! I was promised this was to be a tasteful photo shoot.

PHOTOGRAPHER:

Come on luv, this isn't Corpus Christi. Do I look like Jeremy bleeding Paxman? I don't care what quiz show you won, you're in the real world now. This is Nutz magazine. Take off the scarf.

GAIL:

Honestly! You must be living in Aristophanes' celestial aviary. Perhaps I was being as naïve as the Moor's lieutenant, but the mere notion that this artistic endeavour would devolve into an almost Euripidean exercise in systematic proletarian misogyny never entered even the cognitive peripheries of my prefrontal cortex.

PHOTOGRAPHER:

Was that a no?

GAIL:

The scarf stays on.

PHOTOGRAPHER:

Bleeding hell, Vorderman never gave me this kind of stick. Listen, Gail, what if I told you that this shoot is nothing more than a post-feminist Gedankenversuch into the ironically mediated influences of inspirational gender empowerment?

GAIL:

Not a chance.

PHOTOGRAPHER:

What if I said this shoot could get you a million-quid perfume deal, and you'd be hanging off the arm of a Premiership player on the red carpet of the next Tom Cruise flick by the end of next week?

GAIL:

Pass me that baby oil.

This is right up my street. Really lovely.

I did like this. Nice one, well-written and well-paced.

Dan

Who's Gail Trimble?

! Wonderful!

Quote: Huge Bear @ March 9 2009, 2:43 PM GMT

Who's Gail Trimble?

View original

Her team won a quiz show for really brainy students, and everyone thought she was smug about being smart. That's the point of University Challenge though, being smart. Personally, I thought she was kinda cute.

Thanks for the positive feedback fellers :-)

Quote: Kevin Murphy @ March 7 2009, 12:34 PM GMT

Something topical I shat out for 7 on 7. Rejected, natch.
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F/X:A GLAMOUR MODEL PHOTO SHOOT.

PHOTOGRAPHER:

Okay, darling, that's fantastic. A little to the left. Smile. Poke your bum out a little more. Great stuff. Now give me that thinking bloke's crumpet look. Lovely. Now, let's see a little bit more of you. Can you take that off?

GAIL:

Absolutely not! I was promised this was to be a tasteful photo shoot.

PHOTOGRAPHER:

Come on luv, this isn't Corpus Christi. Do I look like Jeremy bleeding Paxman? I don't care what quiz show you won, you're in the real world now. This is Nutz magazine. Take off the scarf.

GAIL:

Honestly! You must be living in Aristophanes' celestial aviary. Perhaps I was being as naïve as the Moor's lieutenant, but the mere notion that this artistic endeavour would devolve into an almost Euripidean exercise in systematic proletarian misogyny never entered even the cognitive peripheries of my prefrontal cortex.

PHOTOGRAPHER:

Was that a no?

GAIL:

The scarf stays on.

PHOTOGRAPHER:

Bleeding hell, Vorderman never gave me this kind of stick. Listen, Gail, what if I told you that this shoot is nothing more than a post-feminist Gedankenversuch into the ironically mediated influences of inspirational gender empowerment?

GAIL:

Not a chance.

PHOTOGRAPHER:

What if I said this shoot could get you a million-quid perfume deal, and you'd be hanging off the arm of a Premiership player on the red carpet of the next Tom Cruise flick by the end of next week?

GAIL:

Pass me that baby oil.

View original

This simply won't work for radio in it's current format.

It's not until the very end that the name 'Gail' is mentioned, and then she's only mentioned by first name.

How is the listener meant to know that the sketch is about Gail Trimble of University Challenge?

There's reference to Paxman, but I think it needs to be signposted more clearly than that.

Bear in mind that this was written the day she was all over the papers and TV, for a topical show.

But point taken.

thinking bloke's crumpet look?

Was quite funny, but fairly standard fare

Quote: LIME5000 @ March 15 2009, 2:59 AM GMT

thinking bloke's crumpet look?

View original

You know how when you're sitting on your couch crying into a takeaway and masturbating over daytime television? And you can't help but shoot your load off whenever Carol Vorderman smiles after she wins a difficult sum, or when Nigella Lawson pouts mischievously whenever she puts a carrot in her mouth?

That's what it is.

Apparently.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thinking_man's_crumpet

Hold on, what you and your granddad get up to on the weekend is your business mate.