British Comedy Guide

7 on 7 reject : Nuclear subs collide

FX SUBMARINE SONAR

SONAR OPERATOR:
Captain, I think I can hear somethi.. (Interrupted)

FX UNDERWATER COLLISION

CAPTAIN:
What was that?

SONAR OPERATOR:
I think we've hit something. It looks a bit likeā€¦another sub?

FX SUB HATCHES OPENING ABOVE WATER

CAPTAIN:
Who the hell are you, and why did you crash into us?!

FRENCH CAPTAIN:(Heavy accent)
I am Captain Francois and we did NOT crash into you, you did not look before pulling out.

CAPTAIN:
Yes we did! You were clearly going to fast.

FRENCH CAPTAIN:
It's not my fault if you can't drive that thing.

CAPTAIN:
Look, we're not going to agree so let's just swap insurance details and let them sort it out.

FRENCH CAPTAIN:
Erm. We can't. I've, er, left my insurance documents at home.

CAPTAIN:
Hang on, you do HAVE insurance, don't you?

FRENCH CAPTAIN:
Of course!

CAPTAIN:
Right, well just give me your details then.

FRENCH CAPTAIN:
(Clears throat and speaks with a bad German accent) Ve are ze German Navy.

CAPTAIN:
Oh Christ, you're NOT insured are you.

FRENCH CAPTAIN:
Non. Sorry.

CAPTAIN:
Lieutenant, get the Admiral on the blower, I think we've just lost his no-claims discount.

FXSUBMARINE HATCH CLOSING

END

:D Nice idea of acting as in a car accident, well-paced. Especially liked the pretending to be German bit

Defamation of the great French Navy. :D

I didn't even know they had nuclear subs to be honest. Maybe we should think twice about sending our lamb over.

You could do a couple of these, fighting over parking spaces maybe?

I rather liked this, maybe play up the admiral/admiral insurance a tad more?

This is my favourite 7 on 7 reject so far. I Liked it. Good choice of story and well executed.

I do like this one. If anything, I'd avoid the French captain backing down as it's distinctly 'un-French'!

I was half-expecting Michael Winner to come out in a diver's outfit, saying 'Now, now dear. Don't panic!' and drowning.

Dan

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