Here's my sketch which got in NewsRevue this week. It's a bit obvious, but they seem to like that...
Int. Stage
A shopkeeper, who is Scottish, is stood at a desk with some beer bottles. A man, also Scottish, enters and approaches.
MAN:
Hello, mate. Could I have 3 bottles of Buckfast, please?
SHOPKEEPER:
Certainly, sir. That'll be £425.97p.
MAN:
How much?!
SHOPKEEPER:
£425.97p, sir. It's part of the Government's crackdown on alcohol – we've had to put our prices up ridiculously high.
MAN:
But I can't afford that!
SHOPKEEPER:
Look at it this way, sir. In times like these, can you honestly afford to stay sober?
MAN:
Right, that's it! I'm going!
The man starts to walk away.
SHOPKEEPER:
You're happy to let the Government win, are you, sir?
MAN:
No, I'm off to find a cash machine.
ENDS
