FX - A LARGE CREAKING DOOR CLOSES
SNR CIVIL SERVANT:
Ah Sir Fred, thank you for coming to Whitehall.
SIR FRED GOODWIN:
My pleasure, so what is it you wanted to discuss?
SNR CIVIL SERVANT:
It's your pension fund I'm afraid, the £16m, we're going to need you to give it back.
SIR FRED GOODWIN:
Oh that's out of the question,
SNR CIVIL SERVANT:
I understand, but in the current economic climate, it is rather a lot, don't you think?
SIR FRED GOODWIN:
No I don't, that money has to last me till I die…
SNR CIVIL SERVANT:
I realise that, it's ju…
SIR FRED GOODWIN: (Interrupting)
…which isn't for another 950 years.
SNR CIVIL SERVANT:
I'm sorry?
SIR FRED GOODWIN:
I'm going to live till I'm one thousand, so spread over 950 years, that pot isn't that big.
SNR CIVIL SERVANT:
You can't live that long…
SIR FRED GOODWIN:
Oh so you're a Doctor now are you? Telling me I'm dying. Is that it?
SNR CIVIL SERVANT:
Well, no, but the Minister is rather insisting.
SIR FRED GOODWIN:
Insisting that you put another pensioner below the poverty line?
SNR CIVIL SERVANT:
Well, no…
SIR FRED GOODWIN:
Good, because with inflation the way it is, £650k a year will essentially be worthless in 600 years time. Does he want me to live my last 350 years scrambling around on state handouts?
SNR CIVIL SERVANT:
I suppose not.
SIR FRED GOODWIN:
You know, I should be asking you to top UP this pension fund really.
SNR CIVIL SERVANT:
I'm not sure that's something we c…
SIR FRED GOODWIN
Interrupting)
But it's OK. I'm not an unreasonable man. I won't ask you to dig any deeper than you already have. And if we say no more on the matter I'm willing to waive my state pension rights from 2090 onwards.
SNR CIVIL SERVANT:
That's very generous of you, thank you Sir Fred.
SIR FRED GOODWIN:
It really is my pleasure.
FX - A LARGE CREAKING DOOR OPENING & CLOSING
SNR CIVIL SERVANT:
Quick, get the Minister; I think I've just saved us a fortune in state pension payments!