Young Father Sketch - 7 on 7

Here's one of my topical sketches I submitted for the 7 on 7 thing. I didn't get through!

F/XOOR OPENS

DAD:Hello Johnny! How was school?

JOHNNY:It was great! We did sex education today!

DADh, well, uh, I hope you took note of what they said.

JOHNNYh yeah! And now we know what to do, me and Emily White are gonna have a baby!

DAD:For God's sake! You're 12!

JOHNNY:I'm not getting any younger.

DAD:You've only just stopped using stabilisers!

JOHNNY:It's got nothing to do with riding a bike.

DAD:If it's with Emily White then it bloody well has!

JOHNNYUPSET) But all the boys in my class have got one!

DAD:I don't care! You're not having one!

JOHNNY:Why?

DAD:Because there's no way I'm being a Grandad at 26! Now get to your room!

ENDS

That made me laugh out loud at the end. I really didn't anticipate the ending. Was a bit unsure of calling 12 year old girl a bike though.

Perhaps could be shorter?

Yeah, I was unsure about the 12 year old/bike reference. Perhaps I should have cut it out. Or thought of a different joke.

Lose the specific age reference might take the edge off it:

JOHNNYh yeah! And now we know what to do, me and Emily White are gonna have a baby!

DAD:For God's sake! You've only just stopped using stabilisers!

JOHNNY:It's got nothing to do with riding a bike.

DAD:If it's with Emily White then it bloody well has!

It would have lost it's topical edge then, but your suggestion, Timbo, could make it work as a standalone sketch.

Liked it.

Heads and shoulders above a lot of posted sketches.

And keep the bike line!

It's very good. Lots of good jokes along the way and a nice big finish. It's not quite got that 'exceptional' sparkle to it, but it's a very good, solid sketch in my opinion.

I like the idea of the bike line, but 'It's got nothing to do with riding a bike' sounds a bit forced. Obviously, I can't suggest anything better though!

Dan

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The bike gag is a great gag, Ben - but do you really need it? E.G.

F/X: DOOR OPENS

DAD: Hello Johnny! How was school?

JOHNNY: Great! We did sex education today!

DAD: I - er - hope you made notes..

JOHNNY: Sure did! Me and Emily White are gonna have a baby!

DAD: For God's sake! You're twelve!

JOHNNY: I'm not getting any younger.

DAD: I don't care! You're not having one!

JOHNNY: Why not?

DAD: 'Cos I don't want to be a twenty-six-year old Grandad! Now get to your room!

ENDS

Some good points raised, people. Thanks.

Didn't feel specifically topical, if I'm honest. But a decent enough sketch.

Liked it.

Although the funniest line for me was the riding a bike one, I think Morrace is right - it is actually a better sketch without the funniest line, if that makes sense.

Yes, Badge, I know what you mean. Having to take funny jokes out is usually a positive sign.

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In fact, the 'riding the bike' could be a separate sketch - something along the lines of:

"TEACHER: Right then kiddies, now that you all know about 'The Kama Sutra', I'm going to teach you how to ride a bike."
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I just wanted to leave a brief comment, as this my favourite 7 on 7 'reject' on here so far.

The bike joke was great, I wouldn't take it out. I would imagine the fact that it's not particularly topical counted against it.

Maybe you could more closely align with the 13 year-old Dad Alfie Patten story?

Thanks, Smithy.

It's not a direct swipe at Alfie, I agree, but I think I've satirised the situation. That still counts as topical, I think...