Broken Arts rejects (they're rejects with reason)

Around 10 of us (feel free to refer to us as 'scum') were told we could submit material to 'Broken Arts' on a non-comm basis. I think only 1 of us got something on (and well done her!) and thought as I doubt I could sell these sketches elsewhere I should put them up here.

Enjoy (oh no, wait, rip them to shreds)!

CUBIST COSMETIC SURGERY

(OK, had to take this 1 down as I've just sent it to someone)

VERY SPECIAL EFFECTS

(And this one)

INSPIRED BY 4'33''

F/X:FEW SECONDS OF UTTER SILENCE.

HOST:The unmistakable sound of John Cage's 4'33'' there. Now we're all probably aware of 4'33'''s far reaching influence across many different artistic fields, such as its influence on music in the Aleatoric genre; or its influence on contemporary art in such areas as Fluxus; or even its influence on comedy as the sound adopted by audiences watching Josie Long perform stand-up. We're looking at how Cage's most famous work - brilliant for lacking the component which would make it what it's meant to be, in 4'33'''s case: music - is inspiring people in even further a-field fields. In Paris it's now influencing nouvelle cuisine.

ATMOS:BUSY RESTAURANT.

CHEF:Well, each dish here has been deeply inspired by 4'33''. Like our Rien et zero, which is imaginary Beluga caviar served on a non-existent blintz with a glass of Château Margaux, minus the glass and the wine. Our diners love us. Not only is our food avant-garde, it is also phenomenally low in salt and saturated fat.

ATMOSTUDIO.

HOST:But cuisine isn't the only field affected by 4'33''. Now architects are looking toward it for inspiration.

ATMOSUTSIDE.

ARCHITECT:Well, the landowners said they wanted a ninety-storey flat, but I'm certain they'll like this shopping trolley and used condom laden marsh that was here before, just as much. Only wish we'd decided to be inspired by 4'33'' before we'd finished the elevator shaft.

F/X:LIFT DOORS DING OPEN. VARIOUS SCREAMS OF PEOPLE STEPPING OUT AND FALLING.

ATMOSTUDIO.

HOST:And now, even fashion is getting inspiration from 4'33''.

ATMOS:CATWALK. MUSIC. CAMERAS FLASHING.

FASHION DESIGNER:Yeah, for so long, magazine editors were saying this season's going to be all about pinks, floral yellows, harsh ripe greens, but – and much to everyone's surprise – the highest rating given by the man in the street was toward our female models who were wearing nothing at all. Right now, hottest clothes are no clothes because men like looking at naked women. Who knew.

ATMOSTUDIO.

HOSTo there you have it. The reverberations of a classic piece of art still felt today by many in the creative industry. Now if only Coldplay had been influenced by 4'33''.

(PS, Think the title should be 'Broken Art's rejects (They're rejects FOR A Reason)' rather than the title I gave. Ah well. How can I change board titles?)

Shame on the people of BSG for not commenting on these!

The first two of these are some of the best things I've seen posted up here. Unfortunately I'm not familiar with the piece of music for the last one, so can't appreciate that.

These are very good indeed, Yacob.

The third one seems to have lost its topical edge though, referring as it does to a single work from the Fifties.

By the way, as a nice "clanger" ending you could change the ending of Very Special Effects to something like this:

JED HARRISON: The production of 1984. The producers agree that the only way to really re-create that totalitarian dystopia look is to really create a totalitarian dystopia.

INTERVIEWER: So you'll be voting Conservative then?

Very nice. Maybe could do with a little more brevity?

Quote: Yacob Wingnut @ February 23 2009, 12:25 PM GMT

Around 10 of us (feel free to refer to us as 'scum') were told we could submit material to 'Broken Arts' on a non-comm basis. I think only 1 of us got something on (and well done her!) and thought as I doubt I could sell these sketches elsewhere I should put them up here.

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May I ask why some of you were asked to submit? I mean via what other show?

Quote: Ben @ February 25 2009, 2:57 PM GMT

Shame on the people of BSG for not commenting on these!

View original

Trust me, there's a long list of other things we should be ashamed of before not commenting on these even gets a mention.

It seems weird that virtually none of the non-comm stuff was used, especially considering how stale and repetive Broken Arts was. The show would have benefitted from a bit more variety.

Quote: Ben @ February 25 2009, 2:57 PM GMT

Shame on the people of BSG for not commenting on these!

The first two of these are some of the best things I've seen posted up here. Unfortunately I'm not familiar with the piece of music for the last one, so can't appreciate that.

View original

Cheers Ben.

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ February 25 2009, 3:11 PM GMT

Very nice. Maybe could do with a little more brevity?

May I ask why some of you were asked to submit? I mean via what other show?

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Yep, agree with the brevity comment.

I think all the non-comms got a fairly large amount on either 'Play & Record' Series 1 and/or 'Tilt'.

Hi Yacob

Not got around to listening to Broken Arts yet, so I can't fairly comment on how well they would/wouldn't fit in.

Solid ideas behind them all. Jokes work well. I think there's a lot you can chop from some of them, as quite a few of the paragraphs go on a quite a bit; the first paragraph of the last one in particular goes on a bit too long. I had no idea what 4' 33'' was in the slightest, but had got it by the end of the sketch. Perhaps I should know, very briefly and curtly, by the end of that first paragraph?

I don't know why you think they won't sell elsewhere; I can see them fitting in other sketch shows that come up (not specifically, but generally I mean).

Hope this is useful.

How's London working out for you btw?

Dan

Quote: Yacob Wingnut @ February 25 2009, 3:26 PM GMT

I think all the non-comms got a fairly large amount on either 'Play & Record' Series 1 and/or 'Tilt'.

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See Dolly? Though your FOUR on Tilt should've been plenty, I reckon.

Quote: Yacob Wingnut @ February 25 2009, 3:26 PM GMT

I think all the non-comms got a fairly large amount on either 'Play & Record' Series 1 and/or 'Tilt'.

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Cheers for the reply Yacob. Does a 'fairly large amount' = loads? I got five sketches recorded for the three eps of Tilt I submitted to.

Quote: swerytd @ February 25 2009, 3:43 PM GMT

See Dolly? Though your FOUR on Tilt should've been plenty, I reckon.

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I know....

Hey Dan

Yeah, I should have cut down on that 1st paragraph of the last sketch. Guess it's through laziness that I didn't (terrible excuse I know). If I re-submit them I'll rewrite, definitely.

Yep, your comments are useful. Maybe I'll send them somewhere else. Not sure where exactly - but if something comes up.

And London's pretty cool, by the way. Got to go to the Saatchi museum today. Despite the fact that I'm a philistine.

Yac

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ February 25 2009, 3:49 PM GMT

Cheers for the reply Yacob. Does a 'fairly large amount' = loads? I got five sketches recorded for the three eps of Tilt I submitted to.

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Christ, somebody at the BBC really doesn't like you. They just won't through any bones your way.

Quote: chipolata @ February 25 2009, 3:50 PM GMT

Christ, somebody at the BBC really doesn't like you. They just won't through any bones your way.

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What could I have possibly done wrong? Though I did pitch an idea for a show at a BBC radio workshop that had Ainsley Harriot wetting himself in pound shops.

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ February 25 2009, 3:49 PM GMT

Cheers for the reply Yacob. Does a 'fairly large amount' = loads? I got five sketches recorded for the three eps of Tilt I submitted to.

I know....

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Hmm, were they short sketches? I really don't know how it was worked out.(Impressive you got 5 recorded btw, though I assume the chance to submit to other shows would be a bigger deal to you than me complimenting you).

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ February 25 2009, 3:53 PM GMT

I did pitch an idea for a show at a BBC radio workshop that had Ainsley Harriot wetting himself in pound shops.

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Racist and incontinentist!

JED HARRISON: No, the dinosaurs weren't CGI; they were real. They were brought back to life in the same way they say they were in the film. No, I used CGI to re-create Sam Neill. I mean, how else could we get someone that looked like Sam Neill to perform for us on camera?

INTERVIEWER: Well, by hiring Sam Neill to perform for you on camera?

JED HARRISON: Oh yeah. Yeah, I suppose that'd work.

HA!

Quote: Yacob Wingnut @ February 25 2009, 3:54 PM GMT

though I assume the chance to submit to other shows would be a bigger deal to you than me complimenting you).

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I don't know, you're opinions mean quite a lot to BSG members.