Quote: gotmilk @ February 22 2009, 5:45 PM GMTI really hate Morrace. I prefer friendly, understandable people who I can relate to. Is Thordox still around?
I think so. 
My Novel. Page 2
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Quote: gotmilk @ February 22 2009, 5:45 PM GMTI really hate Morrace. I prefer friendly, understandable people who I can relate to. Is Thordox still around?
Quote: Morrace @ February 22 2009, 1:27 PM GMTI and my bath-salts, Radox, thank you for amusing us.
You haven't been paying attention, have you? (re. part of my earlier post)
I was going to write 'Thordox' but I thought 'Radox' was more subtle.
So are you Thordox then? Or are you implicating that I'm Thordox? Thordox spotted the 'Radox' reference earlier but thought that Thordox was imagining things. Thordox does not like being confused.
Oh, I mean 'gotmilk' of course
Quote: gotmilk @ February 22 2009, 6:17 PM GMTSo are you Thordox then? Or are you implicating that I'm Thordox? Thordox spotted the 'Radox' reference earlier but thought that Thordox was imagining things. Thordox does not like being confused.
Oh, I mean 'gotmilk' of course
Nice try Simon, aka, etc, etc. Thordox Stand-Up Routine > > Click HERE
The funny thing here is that I'm genuinely not Thordox. I actually have no idea why you originally came to think that (and why you keep on linking me to my, or what you assume to be my threads still baffles me). In my previous post I was actually making a joke using IRONY. You see? Acknowledging your suspicion in a humorous manner? Hmmm?
I have a feeling this is really going to annoy me...
Everyone just review the freaking Prologue - I may not know the entire story here but get along and review the work that has been presented don't come out with crap.
Morrance congratulations you have read a dictionary and discovered the underlining function of the site - just give it rest if you're bored have a wank... Don't bug people in my forum.
Ta 
Quote: Paul W @ February 23 2009, 12:19 PM GMTDon't bug people in my forum.
Sub-forum? 
Quote: Paul W @ February 23 2009, 12:19 PM GMTEveryone just review the freaking Prologue - I may not know the entire story here but get along and review the work that has been presented don't come out with crap.
Morrance congratulations you have read a dictionary and discovered the underlining function of the site - just give it rest if you're bored have a wank... Don't bug people in my forum.
"Don't bug people in my forum." Was that Frankie Howerd - Up Pompeii!?
Sorry if you think I 'bug' people in your forum. I seek to enlighten, not to 'bug'. My apologies to all the people in Paul W's forum.
I've never actually read a dictionary, Paul. However, I consult one from time-to-time - but hey, I'll accept your congratulations regardless!
I'm sorry, but I don't understand your 'underlining function' reference; I 'Googled' it and all I came up with was 'A printer having an underlining function includes an underline position memory. Each bit of the underline position memory is allotted to each printable ...
I was intrigued by your suggestion, 'if you're bored have a wank...'. Obviously this is your remedy for boredom and works for you but speaking for myself, I find a brisk walk does the trick (I've just return from one, after reading your post).
Ah yes, now to review the 'freaking Prologue':
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Prologue is not one of the best pieces I've ever read, however, it did keep me guessing throughout, and I never knew where it was going next. Also, the humour added by Nothus, e.g. 'Nothus remedies a wheel on top of the bone closet.' - this was such a clever play on words - it had me laughing till my wife came home!
I find that 'Prologue' is also thought-provoking. For instance; the question is posed, 'Why can't the foul president inconvenience the scattering pun?' Why not indeed? Have you ever tried to inconvenience a scattering pun? I doubt it!
'Prologue' is extremely well-written and has a good basic plot. It is obviously a labour of love (a bit like Paul W wanking, perhaps). The only real negative aspect was the fact that it made my sides ache. Overall, I think that 'Prologue' is an extremely tasty h'ordeuve. I can't wait for the main dish!
Morrace.
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You claim you don't "seek to bug" people, and then spend the rest of the same post doing exactly that. After reading through this thread, it seems that you, Morrace, have no other intention other than to troll, bait, and wind people up. This is not acceptable behaviour and will not be tolerated. Please consider this to be an official warning.
Quote: Aaron @ February 23 2009, 2:41 PM GMTYou claim you don't "seek to bug" people, and then spend the rest of the same post doing exactly that. After reading through this thread, it seems that you, Morrace, have no other intention other than to troll, bait, and wind people up. This is not acceptable behaviour and will not be tolerated. Please consider this to be an official warning.
If a moderator, repeat, moderator baits me with "just give it rest if you're bored have a wank", I'll rise to the bait - like a Great White.
Your above criticism, Aaron, is to the point and I accept it. However, I find trite 'wank' and 'crap' ridden reprimands from the likes of Paul W unacceptable.
Surely the "if you're bored have a wank" can be seen for what it was; a throwaway, non-serious remark in an attempt to cool and add a little essence of humour to calm the situation? Paul's post may have been a little blunt, I'll accept that, but I would still have hoped that his point - and the request he made in role as a member of site staff - could be seen.
Now, no-one's been blameless, whiter-than-white here, so let's drop this if we can and move on please.
Absolutely! Let's get on with it.
Next!
This tension is bordering on the absurd. But Paul is right, the Prologue must be reviewed! And not in the snidey ironic manner of Morrace, but with constructive critiscism, and reserved praise.
I am especially proud of the ironic wheel metaphor.
Quote: gotmilk @ February 22 2009, 3:16 AM GMTPrologue
Lo and behold my kings and Queens, we sit on chairs of silver and brass, yet were we to stand for a moment and sing, we would be better and should cry "Oh ho ho!"
So goes the poem of the elder God Nothus who lived in a tree, and one day died. Such tragedies make one wish to turn back time, and change our actions past, like wheels of water. These wheels are ironic in a way (or one or two). Or three. Lo! Irony is here like trees in a wood or feathers on my talons – for I am a bird – question me not. Irony. For Nothus was himself a wheel of water, and yet he could not turn back time, as he lived in a tree. Lo! Gods are wheels! Time was on the floor, as dust on a rooftop, lying as still as a corpse of a sheep. Alas, to reach a floor from a tree when you are a wheel... What a dream.
Our dreams our meaningless and yet they have meaning. For we are now in Xanthia Piscuali, where all is strange.
Last night I (who, need I remind you, is a giant bird) dreamt of Nothus. He revealed a catalogue of my thoughts, carved in stone. Wheels and trees, trying to explain . All displayed in sobering present tense. A wheel misrepresents Nothus. A racist catalogues Nothus. Nothus intimates the enhanced life before the trouser. The silly finger gasps against the disciplinary mate. Nothus remedies a wheel on top of the bone closet.
Its multiplicating tree elaborates an east inside an likening load. Nothus stakes the neural vein outside the agenda. Nothus portrays the abstract downstairs over the prize sufferer. How does the exclusive priest relax beside Nothus?
A wheel frees the food. Why can't the foul president inconvenience the scattering pun? Why does a wheel fish? Nothus balls a wheel throughout the winded electorate. A wheel bushes Nothus. The asynchronous telescope flies over a triumph.
The sneaking genre rests upon the fiddling lunch. The gut graduates across the organized shoe. A wheel rests upon Nothus with the ass. The mercury treasures a wheel beneath the typesetting hell. Nothus allocates a wheel past the assistant. Within a wheel reflects a controversy.
And yet we are all illusory, constructions, digressing like Northus, upon his throne of bronze. Or silver. Who knows? Not me, I am dreaming. The circle is closed - a new beginning. We emerge from the slime like water from the wheel. O ho, O ho. Xanthia Piscuali, a world of gnomes. Reincarnated under the guidance of Perthiuth Thwaite, servant to the queen of mice.
Ok, I'll suspend my disbelief, and assume you have seriously put this up for review.
Firstly, if it is a children's book then you're way off target with your language. This reads as a collection of not terribly well-structured simple sentences which have then been thesaurusised. I neologise, but the whole effect is very disconcerting and disorientating. The sentences are very hard to parse, there's no plot progression, the authorial intrusion is jarring, and the sentences like broken bridges to nowhere.
Sorry if this is a genuine story and my critique seems harsh.
You underestimate the children of today, Rob. I intend to disconcert them, to catch them off guard, and in doing so shall bring about a feeling of confusion, of constant disorientation. In this way they see the darkness of this land, the horrors that lay before them. They also learn about the mightily taloned narrator; how he digresses and loses himself in his own wandering tangents. But most importantly of all, they learn to appreciate the beauty of language, and of a world so different from their own. Xanthia Piscuali, my friend, Ruyoog of the Angrid Barld.