British Comedy Guide

How do I get my work colleague to shut up?

I work directly opposite another guy in my department and he never stops talking. He talks constantly and it is driving me insane. Most of it is heavily opinionated crap or complete irrelevant tosh. He also thinks aloud and often gives running commentaries on what he is doing. The end result is that I am finding it really difficult to get any work done.

I am suffering work wise and it has also got to the point that I am now being tared with the same brush from other people in the office as they think that both of us can't keep quiet.

I have talked to him about it on numerous occasions. I have been nice about it, I've been nasty about it. I've tried humour, sarcasm, pleading even, but it basically falls on deaf ears. Even shouting at him only got him to be silent for a few hours. I have taken it to the firms directors and explained the situation a number of times. Luckily later in the year my firm is moving and new seating plans have been arranged which will free me from this burden. But until then I am trapped in this world of constant chatter.

I don't want to go to prison for murder so how do I get him to shut the f**k up??

Def.

Quote: Deferenz @ February 19 2009, 1:04 PM GMT

I work directly opposite another guy in my department and he never stops talking. He talks constantly and it is driving me insane. Most of it is heavily opinionated crap or complete irrelevant tosh. He also thinks aloud and often gives running commentaries on what he is doing. The end result is that I am finding it really difficult to get any work done.

I am suffering work wise and it has also got to the point that I am now being tared with the same brush from other people in the office as they think that both of us can't keep quiet.

I have talked to him about it on numerous occasions. I have been nice about it, I've been nasty about it. I've tried humour, sarcasm, pleading even, but it basically falls on deaf ears. Even shouting at him only got him to be silent for a few hours. I have taken it to the firms directors and explained the situation a number of times. Luckily later in the year my firm is moving and new seating plans have been arranged which will free me from this burden. But until then I am trapped in this world of constant chatter.

I don't want to go to prison for murder so how do I get him to shut the f**k up??

Def.

Be more annoying than him, if you need tips on how to be annoying please contact me or my apprentice Leevil for more details...

Here you go. :)

Have you spoken to HR? They are obliged to sort something ouy.

Put headphones on, listen to music, and totally ignore him.

Remove the screen from his monitor and fill it with locusts. That ought to keep him occupied for a bit.

Find out his worst fear and put it as his desktop background.

Quote: Paul W @ February 19 2009, 1:40 PM GMT

Find out his worst fear and put it as his desktop background.

But what if his worst fear is having his worst fear used as a desktop background...

What do you do? I was going to make the same suggestion as Bad Dog.

Although I will add, if you need to be able to hear, then you can wear the headphones without actually listening to music. Any time he tries to talk to you, you can ignore him. If he tries again, look drumpy, say "What?!" quite loudly then don't reply and go back to pretending to listen. He might give up after a while.

If anyone else asks, say you only wear the earphones so that he doesn't talk to you. They'll probably sympathise.

Quote: Bad dog @ February 19 2009, 1:23 PM GMT

Put headphones on, listen to music, and totally ignore him.

What he said.

OR get a language cd and annoy him by repeating the words really loudly.

Image

How did you find my secret trainning camp? :O

Move your desk a foot every day. Soon you'll be far enough way not to be bothered by him.

Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at Large @ February 19 2009, 1:48 PM GMT

How did you find my secret trainning camp? :O

There are 100,000 like that. Couldn't miss 'em.

Cunningly redecorate his cubicle so it looks like 1992. That'll put the willies up him.

Share this page