A little one based on the breaking news this morning. Maybe a little obvious - but it's the story I guess.
In the Navy
On the bridge of HMS Vanguard. Loud pinging noises.
Captain : Come on he's out there somewhere.
1st Officer : Periscope's picking nothing up Sir.
Crewman : Nothing on the scanners either Sir.
Captain : Come on, we're the British Navy, we aren't going to lose this.
Crewman : Radio message coming through.
Captain : Loudspeaker.
Radio : ( Heavy French accent) You English idiots! You can't find me.
Captain : We'll get you Pierre.
Radio : I think not Monsieur Captain, in the last week we the glorious French navy have beaten you at deck quoits, hopscotch and <BEAT> Buckeroo! We just need this for the set!
Captain :But Hide and Seek is a different matter Pierre.
Radio : I'm disappointed Monsieur Captain – don't you know your history?
Captain: History?
Radio : If there is one thing the French military is good at it's running away and hiding. Bye Bye English idiots.
Crewman – He's gone sir.
Captain – Well let's find him
.
1st Officer – Might he be in the wardrobe Sir?
Captain – In the wardrobe?
1st Officer – It's where I used to hide as a kid.
Crewman – Or behind the curtain! That was always a great spot. My brother never, ever found me there.
Captain – Yes but neither of you were a French Nuclear Submarine were you?
1st Officer – Good point sir.
Captain – That's why I have the stripes chaps.
Crewman – If this bloody thing had a porthole I could open it and have a good look, it would help.
Captain : A porthole? You're in a submarine you f**king buffoon!
Crewman – Oh yeah.
Captain : Right. No option, lets surface and see what's what.
1st Officer : Yes Sir – Crewman surface the boat.
LOUD BANG AND THE CREW ARE ALL KNOCKED FROM THEIR FEET. LOUD ALARM GOES OFF.
Crewman – Nuclear radiation leak warning alarm Sir.
Captain : F**k that – We've found the bastard!
End.
