British Comedy Guide

Weird things you have read about. Page 57

Hahah, I saw an excellent photo of one of those last week. Pity they've not got any in their article. Very funny.

Aiiiiieeee!!!!!!

http://www.tmz.com/2009/02/12/octomom-it-was-a-very-goodyear/

:O

Flipping hell.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/21/20090213/tuk-man-was-tagged-on-his-false-leg-6323e80.html

Quote: The Cool Mikado @ February 13 2009, 12:27 PM GMT

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/21/20090213/tuk-man-was-tagged-on-his-false-leg-6323e80.html

And there I was thinking someone had graffito tagged some poor amputee.

That is fabulous.

Orchard Park police are investigating a particularly gruesome killing, the beheading of a woman, after her husband — an influential member of the local Muslim community — reported her death to police Thursday.

Police identified the victim as Aasiya Z. Hassan, 37. Detectives have charged her husband, Muzzammil Hassan, 44, with second-degree murder.

"He came to the police station at 6:20 p.m. Thursday and told us that she was dead," Orchard Park Police Chief Andrew Benz said late this morning.

Muzzammil Hassan told police that his wife was at his business, Bridges TV, on Thorn Avenue in the village. Officers went to that location and discovered her body.

Muzzammil Hassan is the founder and chief executive officer of Bridges TV, which he launched in 2004, amid hopes that it would help portray Muslims in a more positive light.

The killing apparently occurred some time late Thursday afternoon. Detectives still are looking for the murder weapon.

"Obviously, this is the worst form of domestic violence possible," Erie County District Attorney Frank A. Sedita III said today.

Authorities say Aasiya Hassan recently had filed for divorce from her husband.

"She had an order of protection that had him out of the home as of Friday the 6th of February," Benz said.

Muzzammil Hassan was arraigned before Village Justice Deborah Chimes and sent to the Erie County Holding Center.

http://www.buffalonews.com/494/story/578644.html

Soon to be a major motion picture...

http://www.chroniclebooks.com/index/main,book-info/store,books/products_id,7847/title,Pride-and-Prejudice-and-Zombies/

Blimey. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7891234.stm?

Quote: David Bussell @ February 14 2009, 10:07 AM GMT

Soon to be a major motion picture...

Genius.

What this article avoids mentioning is that subs don't bump into each other accidentally. They bump into each other when one is sneakily trailing the other one. They trail each other as practice for - or in preparation for - sinking the other sub. I seriously doubt these 2 subs just happened to cross paths in the middle of the ocean.

BRITISH and French nuclear submarines which collided deep under the Atlantic could have sunk or released deadly radioactivity, it emerged last night.

The Royal Navy's HMS Vanguard and the French Navy's Le Triomphant are both nuclear powered and were carrying nuke missiles.

Between them they had around 250 sailors on board.

A senior Navy source said: "The potential consequences are unthinkable. It's very unlikely there would have been a nuclear explosion.

"But a radioactive leak was a possibility. Worse, we could have lost the crew and warheads. That would have been a national disaster."

The collision is believed to have taken place on February 3 or 4, in mid-Atlantic. Both subs were submerged and on separate missions.
Row

As inquiries began, naval sources said it was a millions-to-one unlucky chance both subs were in the same patch of sea. Warships have sonar gear which locates submarines by sound waves.

But modern anti-sonar technology is so good it is possible neither boat "saw" the other.

A senior military source said: "The lines between London and Paris have been hot."

The MoD insisted last night there had been no nuclear security breach. But this is the biggest embarrassment to the Navy since Iran captured 15 sailors in 2007. The naval source said: "Crashing a nuclear submarine is as serious as it gets."

Vanguard is one of Britain's four V-Class subs forming our Trident nuclear deterrent. Each is armed with 16 ballistic missiles.

She was last night towed into Faslane in Scotland, with dents and scrapes visible on her hull. Triomphant limped to Brest with extensive damage to her sonar dome.

Triomphant has a crew of 101. Vanguard weighs 16,000 tons, is 150 metres long and has a crew of 140.

The MoD said it did not comment on submarine operations.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2240543.ece

Less than 10 years ago there was an active nuclear reactor in the basement of my university.

TRUFAX!

I believe there are a few dozen reactors still humming along at American universities. I know the school I attended has one.

Quote: DaButt @ February 16 2009, 1:33 AM GMT

What this article avoids mentioning is that subs don't bump into each other accidentally. They bump into each other when one is sneakily trailing the other one. They trail each other as practice for - or in preparation for - sinking the other sub. I seriously doubt these 2 subs just happened to cross paths in the middle of the ocean.

Oh yeah I have no doubt they left loads out in the report - we have some many ships and submarines that are in meant to be "Docked" but they are floating all over the world - I think America tend to keep more under their hat than anyone.

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