GORDON AND SARAH BROWN ARE TALKING. GORDON IS SLUMPED IN A CHAIR.
GORDON:
Oh Sarah, the public's blaming me for the economic crisis, the country's flooded…again – and now Jeremy Clarkson's called me a "one-eyed Scottish idiot." I feel so…
SARAH:
Depressed? Do you think it could be depression?
GORDON (JUMPS UP):
Depression? Who said depression? I certainly didn't. It's just a little blip, that's all.
(SITS DOWN)
SARAH:
Well, you have been moody recently, and you've lost your appetite…did you eat your lunch today? They did give you a lunch break at the Bankers' trial didn't they?
GORDON:
Yes, yes, there was a recess. (JUMPS UP) No! There's no recession! The economy's just slowing. Yes, that's it.
SARAH:
I'm just worried about you, Gordon. Plus, our love life's stopped completely and you HAVE been spending lots of time next door with Alistair.
GORDON (DEFENSIVELY):
Darling? Well he's the only one who understands what financial responsibility's like. With his silvery locks...
SARAH:
Gordon, are you sure you don't have repressed feelings for him?
GORDON (DREAMILY):
And his dark bushy eyebrows….(SHOUTING) REPRESSED?! I AM NOT BLOODY REPRESSED, THE ECONOMY IS NOT IN RECESSION OR DEPRESSION. (RESIGNEDLY) Oh, who am I kidding, we're all doomed! I want my Mummy!!
(GORDON FALLS TO THE FLOOR WHERE HE CLINGS TO SARAH'S LEG AND SOBS)
SARAH (PULLS OUT PHONE AND DIALS):
Hello, Doctor? It's Gordon - I think he's regressed.