FOR THE RADIO...
AIDE:
PM! Disaster! We've run out of salt to grit the roads.
BROWN:
Noooo! This is the worst news since the last bit of bad news. There's only one thing to do.
AIDE:
Not?
BROWN:
Mandelson.
FADE TO:
ATMOS: OUTDOOR NOISES. A WHISTLING WIND.
MANDELSON:
Don't worry, PM. (THROUGH MEGAPHONE) String those orphans right across the road. Quickly! Orphans... there is no Father Christmas.
SFX: CHILDREN CRYING.
BROWN:
Brilliant, you're salting the road with the tears of orphans. But, no! It's not enough.
MANDELSON:
Easy. (THROUGH MEGAPHONE) Yes, orphans, there is no Father Christmas... It's your mum and dad.
SFX: CHILDREN CRYING MORE LOUDLY.
ENDS
Fan-bloody-tastic although Mandelson is portrayed in too much of a positive light for me.