No not the Ricky Gervais stand up gig, the other politics with Gordon Brown n' that. Speak up, theres a tyranical warlo...democrat..in all of us. If you were prime minister what would you change?
Politics
My underpants.
The first thing I'd do is make the workmen open up all the motorway lanes they've pointlessly coned off... and increase the speed limits outside of peak hours, and the fast lane. I don't drive much but it'd certainly make me popular!
I'll send all the foreigners back to their own countries! Including myself, as an Anglo Saxon, and any Roman descendant to Italy, and those damn Vikings back to Denmark. And don't get me started on the Celts.
Close the borders, get more, cheaper housing built, sort out the NHS (how many billions in debt is it now?), sort out schools, scrap ridiculous laws and regulations which prevent police doing their jobs properly, and so on. There's nothing inherently wrong with immigrants, but only when the country's in a fit state to cope with the people who are actually already here! >_<
Damn Walker stole me joke, well as long as you don't use it in stand up thats fine. I would increase taxes on the rich and give public sector workers an increase in wages of 10% Would legalise drugs through perscription and tax them obviously. Unionise protistution and implement a proper 'ethical' foreign policy. Also I would make David Cameron write out a thousand times 'I'm all hair and no trousers.'
Why only David Cameron? Not Blair, Brown, Campbell (ok, forget Campbell; he's useless), the rest of the previous and present Labour cabinets, etc? Methinks you're being partyist! 
Quote: ajp29 @ July 19, 2007, 5:04 PMDamn Walker stole me joke, well as long as you don't use it in stand up thats fine. I would increase taxes on the rich and give public sector workers an increase in wages of 10% Would legalise drugs through perscription and tax them obviously. Unionise protistution
Hey! Adam stay away from ma bitches yo?!
Well, if I was to be really interested in politics ... like as an MP or something ... then I would quite like someone to produce the following:
One page of A4 (spreadsheet if you like although a simple table would do) showing the country's annual spend on the following ...
1. Health Care.
2. Education.
3. Social Services including assorted benefits and pensions.
4. Defence.
5. UK internal improvements (roads, rail, airports, etc., etc.)
6. Paying back loans (The UK has only just squared up paying back the borrowings from the US arising from WW2, a 'special relationship' of sorts!)
Then I'd like a better view of the other side of the equation ... i.e. taxation income (every darn thing is taxed guys ... sometimes several times over!), balance of trade, loans and gifts to other countries, and so on and so on.
And a few other things I'd like to know about too!
And frankly if it can't be done on one side of A4 paper then I'd keep sending it back until they got it right!!!
And I ain't interested in fudgey answers either!!!!
Hah!
Quote: Aaron @ July 19, 2007, 5:13 PMWhy only David Cameron? Not Blair, Brown, Campbell (ok, forget Campbell; he's useless), the rest of the previous and present Labour cabinets, etc? Methinks you're being partyist!
Yeah I agree they are just as bad as each over except Cameron is Tony Blair mark 2 and everyones falling for it again, don't they listen to the Who?
Quote: ajp29 @ July 19, 2007, 5:04 PMDamn Walker stole me joke, well as long as you don't use it in stand up thats fine. I would increase taxes on the rich and give public sector workers an increase in wages of 10% Would legalise drugs through perscription and tax them obviously. Unionise protistution and implement a proper 'ethical' foreign policy. Also I would make David Cameron write out a thousand times 'I'm all hair and no trousers.'
No fair. I've had that joke in my reserves for a long time.
Walker I have had that joke for ages but great minds think alike so don't worry bout it. Do you wnat to put a date on it just out of interest?
At the time of writing it down, February this year when i started to write stand up material. But the joke is essentially a twist on the "All Americans a immigrants" joke just applied to Britain and the BNP attitude to immigration. So you've probably had it longer than me. Let's make a deal, first to get famous may use it.
Well we can both just use it anyway i'm not that fussed.