A SUPPORT GROUP.
GROUP LEADER:
We have a new member with us this evening. Stand up and tell us who you are. Be brave.
CAROL THATCHER:
My name is Cawol ... and I'm a wacist.
PRINCE CHARLES:
What? You like Oasis? One does like Wonderwall, but they've been coasting since ...
CAROL THATCHER:
No, Your Highness, a wacist. I don't like people who don't have white skin.
PRINCE CHARLES:
Like Jodie Marsh?
CAROL THATCHER:
And now I've lost my job because I said someone looked like a golliwog.
GROUP LEADER:
And how long have you been a racist?
CAROL THATCHER:
Well, it's in the blood. Daddy would indulge in some light racism after dinner. Mumsie used to fret about the country being swamped. And my brother asked an Arab for directions once in the desert, so I've never trusted them.
GROUP LEADER:
Charles has a similar story. Perhaps it will help. Charles?
PRINCE CHARLES:
Well, one never thought one was a racist. Father's one, of course. Can't pass a Chinaman without making his eyes slitty. But one's always liked Indians. I'm a big fan of Spike Milligan and Cliff Richard. And some of one's best friends are Indians, like Sooty, and Dave the Coon. But when one's son went racist, one looked deep into one's soul...
GROUP LEADER:
And was his mother a racist?
PRINCE CHARLES:
God, no. She loved the buggers. She'd have married one if it hadn't been for "the accident."
CAROL THATCHER:
That's absolutely no help.
GROUP LEADER:
Perhaps our greatest success at Racists Anonymous can inspire you? Cockney comic Jim Davidson used to be awful. Here he is...
A MAN WALKS ON WITH FULL KLANSMAN HOOD.
GROUP LEADER:
See? Much more tolerant.
ENDS
Very good Mr B.