British Comedy Guide

Things that piss you off Page 391

I can't think of a punishment terrible enough for this woman:

A WOMAN suspected of recruiting more than 80 female suicide bombers has confessed to organising their rapes so she could later convince them that martyrdom was the only way to escape the shame.

Samira Jassam, 51, was arrested by Iraqi police and confessed to recruiting the women and orchestrating dozens of attacks.

In a video confession, she explained how she had mentally prepared the women for martyrdom operations, passed them on to terrorists who provided explosives, and then took the bombers to their targets.

"We arrested Samira Jassim, known as 'Um al-Mumenin', the mother of the believers, who was responsible for recruiting 80 women'', Major General Qassim Atta said.

"She confessed her responsibility for these actions, and she confirmed that 28 attempts had been made in one of the terrorists' strongholds,'' he said.

Samira Jassim was arrested on January 21. She is allegedly linked to the Ansar al-Sunnah insurgent group.

Two of the attacks for which Samira Jassim admitted responsibility in the video confession took place in Diyala province, in central Iraq, which is considered one of the most dangerous areas of the country.

The Associated Press reports US military figures indicate at least 36 female suicide bombers attempted or carried out 32 attacks last year. Women are often allowed through military checkpoints without being searched, making it easier for them to hide explosives under their traditional robes.

http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,25006349-5005961,00.html

Twitter, I don't really know what it is or how it works, all I do know is that I don't like it.

Quote: Aaron @ February 4 2009, 1:02 PM GMT

I can't believe you're suggesting that someone should have phoned you at 6:45am. You are mental.

I'd rather that than texting me with an apparent urgency which I can't address!

It can't have been that much of an emergency if they didn't leave you a message in one form or another. Should have forgotten about it and went on with your day as normal.

Did you find out what it was? Did someone's kidneys spontaneously combust?

It was about nobody being able to go on a course. :S

Ooh, emergency...

?

Quote: Scatterbrained Floozy @ February 4 2009, 6:24 PM GMT

It was about nobody being able to go on a course. :S

A race course? Wimps!

I'm just recording my answering machine message.

"Leave a message, don't keep ringing I'll ignore you."

9 TIMES! IN A ROW! NO MESSAGE!

Maybe it is Lassie.

Quote: zooo @ February 4 2009, 6:45 PM GMT

Maybe it is Lassie.

I've already got a plan when I go to bed at about 3-4 this morning I'm going to repeat dial them 20 f**king times. What sort of human being does that! iT DEFIES LOGIC AND REASON. Everytime they phone it knocks my internet off as well so I gotta go reset the router each time

You should get one of those Skype thingamebobs..

Or destroy the offending person....

Quote: Nil Putters @ February 4 2009, 7:02 PM GMT

You should get one of those Skype thingamebobs..

Or destroy the offending person....

F**k em. I didn't want a house phone to start with I knew the brainless f**kwitts couldn't help themselves calling me all the f**king time! So It's currently sitting on my drive and I have emailed BT to cancel my account. Next the mobile.

:D

I'm so pissed off it's not even funny lol! I feel sorry for the guy crashing in my place coz I'm gotta tear his head off when he comes home as well for leaving used teabags in cups after I told him to throw them in the bin.

Make him cry! Make him cry!

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