British Comedy Guide

Couple more standup bits

Seeing as though it will be my first gig I was going to do some stuff about how I've "made it" in showbiz now, and that I'm the next Seinfeld. Here's one:

So now that I've essentially made it in the comedy business, I'm getting all sorts of phone calls. It's often hard to walk through campus without getting recognised by a couple of people.

"Do I know you from somewhere?"
"Yeah, you've probably seen me on the telly somewhere, or possibly YouTube. I know my blog has got several hits recently."
"No, no, that's not it. Do you do economics?"
"Well, in my spare time, but I'm mostly a comedian. That's my day job."
"No, I think I had a seminar with you. You do microeconomic theory, right?"
"No, no, no. Well, yes, but I'm a comedian."
"No you're n-"
"Yes I am. Look on YouTube. lyncho99. It's all right there. Thank you. Good day."

I saw her a couple of days later and she came up to me and said,
"Oh, I checked out your YouTube account."
"Yeah, I'm a comedian,"
"Well, there was just a video of two remote control cars racing, and a lesbian kiss from an old episode of the OC."
"....funny stuff though right?"

She doesn't talk to me any more. Although my blog traffic has increased marginally, so, 1-0 Lynch.
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I saw this guy sitting by a cash machine the other day asking for change. Obviously I don't have any change, I've only got notes, I've just been to the cash machine. One guy said to me, "Excuse me lads, have you got any change" Sorry mate, no. "Oh no, I just need a couple o' quid to get a beer.I've got a beer for tonight but I need a beer for t'mornin'." Did you ever think that maybe drinking as soon as you woke up contributed to your current situation, perhaps?

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Thoughts?

I don't know you, so the first section completely passed me by.

The final bit about the drunk probably has a gag or two in there but buried among unnecessary words.

Don't write for your ideal audience (i.e. you). Write for an audience. What I mean is, put yourself in the shoes of someone in the crowd who has paid money to see someone make them laugh. Are you meeting the demands of that stranger?

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