Pillow Talk

FLOPPY PILLOW AND PUMPED-UP PILLOW LIE SIDE BY SIDE ON A DOUBLE BED. FLOPPY’S TINY HANDS PULL AT HIS LOOSE PILLOW SLIP.

FLOPPY
I’m a mess and my edges have started to curl.

PUMPED-UP
It’s all down to density!

FLOPPY
(sadly)
I wish I looked like you.

PUMPED-UP INFLATES WITH PRIDE.

FLOPPY
But I’ve got to do something! I’m sagging in the middle!

PUMPED-UP
While I’ve got abs of steel!

PUMPED-UP’S SIX PACK RIPPLES BENEATH HIS PILLOW SLIP.

FLOPPY
But you were made that way!

PUMPED-UP
You’ve got to be comfy in your own pillow slip!

FLOPPY
But I want to be buff!

FLOPPY PULLS HIMSELF UP, ATTEMPTS TO FLEX HIS LITTLE ARMS, FAILS AND FALLS INTO A CRUMPLED HEAP.

PUMPED-UP
What about your sit-ups?

FLOPPY
I got bored and gave up.

PUMPED-UP
The jogging?

FLOPPY
It displaced my fibers. Perhaps it’s genetic?

PUMPED-UP
We slid off the same conveyor belt.

FLOPPY PILLOW
I’ve got it! Perhaps I’ve got really big stitching?

PUMPED-UP
It’s regulated.

FLOPPY
Well, maybe I’m allergic to my filling?

PUMPED-UP
Mmm... They’d have to do tests.

FLOPPY
(sighs)
I’m needle phobic remember?

PUMPED-UP ROLLS HIS EYES.

PUMPED-UP
You could have a sensitivity?

FLOPPY
That’ll be it! Thanks! I knew it’d be something!

PUMPED-UP
Not so fast little guy. We’re often sensitive to the things we like the most.

FLOPPY
We are?

PUMPED-UP
So, what do you like the most?

FLOPPY’S EYES GLAZE OVER.

FLOPPY
When her that lies here plays with him that gets excited!

PUMPED-UP GRIMACES.

PUMPED-UP
Yes, you always seem very keen to get in on the action.

FLOPPY
You bet! I get squished and squashed like anything! It’s fun and I like it!

PUMPED-UP SMIRKS

PUMPED-UP
Well, I know why you’ve gone all saggy Floppy!

FLOPPY
(excited)
You do?

PUMPED-UP
It’s just plain old wear and tear!

FLOPPY
(deflated)
Oh. Maybe I’d better make a start on those sit ups after all!

Always quirky... sweet and tender... you write with such ease about the multitude of bizarre ideas in that head of yours... i can't wait to change my pillow cases... but i'll make sure i take a little sneaky listen before i do... i wonder what they've been up too... while i've been outside... neat bit of writing Jude... can't wait for the book.

Jude I love your writing but you lost me on this, it didnt really go anywhere my attention began to drift after thinking how to achieve moving pillows in 3d which "regular" viewers arent going to be thinking of.

It's a nice piece don't get me wrong I just didnt really find it funny. You've such a warm writing stlye even I (with attention span of 5 seconds) will read to the end, whih is a gift and it would be criminal not to use it to it's fullest.

For me nice but not your best by far sorry to be harsh

Wow. Not sure what to make of this. Is this a children's sketch? If so, talking pillows, the kids will like it.

If not...I am horrified to no end.

Thanks Reiss, I really appreciate your comments.

Gav, thanks for that too. It's OK, that's how it goes.

Sorry Luke, I didn't intend to horrify at all, and thanks for reading through.

I loved it Jude. Your usual crazily creative stuff. It has Jude stamped all over it. I enjoyed & was not even slightly horrified. xx

That's true - not horrific and totally Jude.

I think you should have made more of him and her getting excited!

Jude. Dave is just being pervy.
Dont do it.
It will spoil it.

Dirty filthy Dave.

Lol, thanks Charley and Dave pleased you both enjoyed it. xx

Quote: Charley @ July 18, 2007, 12:29 AM

Jude. Dave is just being pervy.
Dont do it.
It will spoil it.

Dirty filthy Dave.

View original

I'm sorry - I really don't know where I get it from!

Great stuff, as usual, Jude! I love this line:

PUMPED-UP
You’ve got to be comfy in your own pillow slip!

Very nice translation...

Not sure about the very last line. Since you've set up the ending to have Floppy being told by Pumped-Up that he is squished/squashed because he likes getting in on the action, it would logically follow that Floppy would come to the realisation he is OK after all... and accept his worn and torn condition.

Either way... another brilliant sketch, Jude!

Thanks Darren, I'm pleased you enjoyed it and I agree that Floppy's acceptance of his appearance would make for a better ending.

hehe I really liked this! its a bit surreal almost-but I think it works really well for it

I think your use of inanimate objects to express a bitter/sweet relationship is absolutely charming/touching and funny. Admittedly sometimes it works and sometimes not but even so, I don't believe it detracts from the writing. Excellent work, Jude.

Like it, Jude. How do you want to develop this - more surreal or more child friendly? It's sort of in the middle IMO..