I always liked The Sun's headline, Cheggers Can't Be Boozers.
Joke Formulas - Number One - Twisted Cliches Page 4
A stitch in time doesn't save a gunshot victim.
Knee high to a spacehopper.
Your eyes are bigger than your belly....if you're name's Marty Feldman.
Bi-curiosity widened the cat's bottom.
In response to the BBC and SKY Tv non backdown on the Gaza appeal Dubai TV has refused to broadcast The Flintstones. A spokesman said Dubai people won't understand the humour but those in Abu Dhabi do!
Love thy neighbour as thyself. Unless you're a self-harmer.
Those who sleep with dogs know the difference.
In the kingdom of the blind there is no point in being a mime.
He who pays the piper has no taste in music.
(Moan.)
If you can't stand the heat, stop letting the dog mount you.
Where there's a will there's a suicide to be faked.
In the land of the blind, the popular pastime is masturbation.
All that glitters is Gadd.
People in glass houses... shouldn't bend over too often.
Give a man enough rope and he will hang himself, his wife, their kids, the dog, his mother-in-law, and the budgie.
I never get credit where it's Jew
The following isn't realy a cliche-saying-cum-joke as such, but I used to love this one doing he rounds at school:
Old Chinese proverb say:
Man who goes to bed with itchy bumhole, wakes up with smelly finger.
Quote: Mikey J @ January 27 2009, 8:33 PM GMTThe following isn't realy a cliche-saying-cum-joke as such, but I used to love this one doing he rounds at school:
Old Chinese proverb say:
Man who goes to bed with itchy bumhole, wakes up with smelly finger.
Confucius say:
Man who wake up tooth hurty... need to get better aralm crock... good job he not dentist.
You can lead a horse to water. And if you spike that water with Rohypnhol the horse won't remember a thing.
Children should be seen and not heard. Which explains why a lot of them are run over by blind drivers.
Dan
Children should be seen and not heard that's what cows are for.
Does this include unexpected use of cliches? Because one of my favourite ever lines from Kenneth Horne was, "Brrr. It's cold enough out there to freeze a jolly good fellow."