Quote: Ponderer @ January 16 2009, 4:34 PM GMTBut surely if the mantlepiece is trying to eat your brain you might give it a glance?
It's all about your angle.
My Zombie Wife! Page 4
Hey David
I agree with Lee here -- it's well-written and compelling, but there's no real big joke anywhere. A couple of lines are great (as mentioned previously, the 'Brains?' and the 'You're right, it's probably a scam' is a corker) but there's not the big ending; it's a bit morbid if anything.
It's like you haven't quite made your mind up about whether it's a sitcom or a long sketch. IMO it's one of those recurring sketches that come back three or four times over the course of a show, but if it is you need three or four big finishes, especially the last one.
I did like it though! Just not sure where it lies.
Dan
Quote: David Bussell @ January 16 2009, 4:27 PM GMTYo momma so fat they turned her keyboard upside down and a full English breakfast fell out.
Yo Mama so fat she was mistaken for Yo MTV Rap.
Quote: swerytd @ January 20 2009, 3:40 PM GMTHey David
I agree with Lee here -- it's well-written and compelling, but there's no real big joke anywhere. A couple of lines are great (as mentioned previously, the 'Brains?' and the 'You're right, it's probably a scam' is a corker) but there's not the big ending; it's a bit morbid if anything.
It's like you haven't quite made your mind up about whether it's a sitcom or a long sketch. IMO it's one of those recurring sketches that come back three or four times over the course of a show, but if it is you need three or four big finishes, especially the last one.
I did like it though! Just not sure where it lies.
Dan
Cheers, Dan. Yeah, I know what you mean about it being a bit comedy lite. As I went on I became more attracted to the tragic aspect of the story. If and when I rework it I'll even it out though.
I only just got round to reading this. I really liked it. I agree that the flashback scene does not quite work, but I understand why you want to keep it. I think the problem with the scene is mainly in the execution, it is very long on exposition (do we need such a long chain of infection?) and a little light on laughs, which since it necessarily contains no shocks, is a problem.
Cheers for reading, Timbo. I'd just watched When the Wind Blows before writing this and realise now that I may have been influenced somewhat by its pacing/tone. I was quite enamoured of the banter in that, coupled as it was with a sense of all-pervading dread.
The topnotch Raymond Briggs apocalypse graphic novel?
Quote: sootyj @ January 26 2009, 10:41 AM GMTThe topnotch Raymond Briggs apocalypse graphic novel?
Actually, I watched the animation - I hadn't even realised it was from a graphic novel. I must check that out.
Fantastic film and incredibly faithful to the book. Every public library seems to by law have a copy in their children's section.
I have also seen the musical of When the Wind Blows on Bournemouth Pier, I kid you not.
Quote: David Bussell @ January 26 2009, 10:40 AM GMTCheers for reading, Timbo. I'd just watched When the Wind Blows before writing this and realise now that I may have been influenced somewhat by its pacing/tone. I was quite enamoured of the banter in that, coupled as it was with a sense of all-pervading dread.
Yes, I can kind of see that; you have captured the tone well. I agree with Sooty, that both book and film are excellent.
Quote: Timbo @ January 26 2009, 11:27 AM GMTYes, I can kind of see that; you have captured the tone well. I agree with Sooty, that both book and film are excellent.
I love the fact it's so dated now, in that it reflects a time when we were all really worried about nuclear war. Nowadays it's all terrorism, financial collapse and environmental meltdown. Atomic annihilation seems somehow preferable.
I love all that nuclear iconography, any one else read Brother in the Land?
Quote: sootyj @ January 26 2009, 11:41 AM GMTI love all that nuclear iconography, any one else read Brother in the Land?
Nope. Is it good?
It's bloody odd like a Judy Bloom book about the atom boming of Wolverhampton. A girl gives birth to a human turnip and every one dies.
London after the Bomb and War Day are probably the two best books on the subject. if you're planning to do a crazy post apocalyse sitcom.
I thought this was very funny. I liked the flashback sequence too - the more you flesh out absurd and impossible stories the funnier they become.
If anything it wasn't nihilistic enough.