I've looked at scripts to sitcoms I've found hilarious, yet on the page, I doubt I could possibly have imagined it 'working' so well. Is there a knack to looking at scripts and seeing the potential?
Finding the humour on the page
Yes, read lots of them. And have a good visual imagination which is helpful if you want to write them too.
Quote: NoggetFred @ January 25 2009, 5:25 PM GMTI've looked at scripts to sitcoms I've found hilarious, yet on the page, I doubt I could possibly have imagined it 'working' so well. Is there a knack to looking at scripts and seeing the potential?
My belief is a good sitcom works well on the page. Peep Show, Seinfeld, The Royle Family - people are kidding themselves if they think those aren't working on paper.
And if someone is writing a sitcom and they justify to themselves why it's not working or people don't like it is that people 'don't get it on paper' or 'this would work acted out' are just softening the blow mentally.
Quote: NoggetFred @ January 25 2009, 5:25 PM GMTI've looked at scripts to sitcoms I've found hilarious, yet on the page, I doubt I could possibly have imagined it 'working' so well. Is there a knack to looking at scripts and seeing the potential?
Which ones? Some humour, typically more leftfield, surreal fare from writer/ performers such as the League of Gentlemen, Tim and Eric doesn't work on paper. Both would never have been commissioned on a script only basis. Classic narrative sitcom will almost always 'work' on paper.
If you picture what is happening when reading the script and it doesn't work in your head, then it wouldn't work on the screen.
Quote: Nick Rivers @ January 25 2009, 6:04 PM GMTWhich ones?
There's a Frasier script here; http://www.twiztv.com/cgi-bin/frasier.cgi?episode=http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Derby/3267/87.html
... an episode where Roz and Frasier have a mutual friend, Luke, but they both feel they are 'cheating' on the other, through spending time with him. The extract below is from a scene where Roz and Frasier repeatedly make dates with Luke over the phone, and have to 'dump' one of the others of them to do so. With each dumping, the other arranges a new date, in a complicated and satisfyingly funny manner. Yet even though I've seen it work on the screen, I can't imagine I would have been able to see all that humour from the page.
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He goes to the table by the counter.
Roz: You know what? I'm gonna take you out to dinner tonight.
Frasier: Tonight?
Roz: Yes, you've been so great about this whole Luke thing.
I mean, the least I can do is buy you a meal.
Frasier: Well, all right, Roz, I accept. [takes out his cell phone]
Uh, would you excuse me?
Roz: Sure.
Frasier dials his phone and moves over to the counter, behind Niles.
Frasier: Luke-o, F-Man. [Niles's ears prick up] Yeah, listen, uh,
something's come up tonight and I won't be able to make it,
all right? Great, bye.
He hangs up and goes back.
Frasier: So Roz, where would you like to go tonight? Chez Henri has
the most splendid ox-tail suree-
Roz's cell phone rings.
Roz: Excuse me. [answers] Hello? Oh, hi. Just a sec. [to Frasier]
I really need to take this.
Frasier: Of course.
She takes her phone over to the counter.
Roz: Hi, Luke. [Niles looks up again] Oh damn, I just made plans...
Well, if you put it that way, how can I say no? I'll see you
at eight, OK.
She hangs up and goes back.
Roz: Bad news, Frasier. My babysitter's all booked up, so can we
rearrange dinner?
Frasier: What a shame. [takes out his phone] Excuse me.
He goes his phone to the counter.
Frasier: Yeah Luke, it's Fras again. Listen, um, my plans just got
canceled and I was thinking maybe we could... oh, really?
Well, that's-that's kind of quick, wasn't it? [Niles nods to
himself] Well, no problem. All right, yeah, I'll talk to you
tomorrow, bye.
He goes back. Roz is opening her gift.
Roz: Frasier, this is the bracelet I wanted!
Frasier: Yes, I remembered.
Roz: Oh, you're such a good friend. You're so caring and thoughtful
and... loyal. I got to make a phone call, I'll be right back!
She goes to the counter. Niles gets up and heads for the door.
Roz: Luke, it's Roz again. Bad news...
Frasier: [as Niles goes by] Oh Niles, listen, as it turns out I am
available for that concert tonight-
Niles: No you're not.
He exits, leaving Frasier confused.
Yep - I'm with Nogget (although I think that Frasier extract does read pretty well).
Comedy's all in the timing (as they say) and many's the time I've laughed at a line on the screen that wouldn't even have looked like a joke on the page.
If your script's just a series of gags it should be less of a problem, but jokes that would be enhanced by knowing how a character would deliver them are just hard to convey in a pilot script I reckon.
I've written lines in scripts that look funny in my head but I've cut them just because I don't think I could adequately convey the humour to a reader.
Quote: Seefacts @ January 25 2009, 5:34 PM GMTMy belief is a good sitcom works well on the page. Peep Show, Seinfeld, The Royle Family - people are kidding themselves if they think those aren't working on paper.
And if someone is writing a sitcom and they justify to themselves why it's not working or people don't like it is that people 'don't get it on paper' or 'this would work acted out' are just softening the blow mentally.
Not so sure I totally agree with you there Mr S - especially not on the Royle Family. I've got all the scripts to that show (as well as an original somewhere!) and it really onl;y works on paper because I'm imagining the house, the actors, Jim as Jim etc. If you just read the words on the page without that foresight, it's pretty dull stuff.
Quote: NoggetFred @ January 25 2009, 8:58 PM GMTThere's a Frasier script here; http://www.twiztv.com/cgi-bin/frasier.cgi?episode=http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Derby/3267/87.html
... an episode where Roz and Frasier have a mutual friend, Luke, but they both feel they are 'cheating' on the other, through spending time with him. The extract below is from a scene where Roz and Frasier repeatedly make dates with Luke over the phone, and have to 'dump' one of the others of them to do so. With each dumping, the other arranges a new date, in a complicated and satisfyingly funny manner. Yet even though I've seen it work on the screen, I can't imagine I would have been able to see all that humour from the page.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
He goes to the table by the counter.Roz: You know what? I'm gonna take you out to dinner tonight.
Frasier: Tonight?
Roz: Yes, you've been so great about this whole Luke thing.
I mean, the least I can do is buy you a meal.
Frasier: Well, all right, Roz, I accept. [takes out his cell phone]
Uh, would you excuse me?
Roz: Sure.Frasier dials his phone and moves over to the counter, behind Niles.
Frasier: Luke-o, F-Man. [Niles's ears prick up] Yeah, listen, uh,
something's come up tonight and I won't be able to make it,
all right? Great, bye.He hangs up and goes back.
Frasier: So Roz, where would you like to go tonight? Chez Henri has
the most splendid ox-tail suree-Roz's cell phone rings.
Roz: Excuse me. [answers] Hello? Oh, hi. Just a sec. [to Frasier]
I really need to take this.
Frasier: Of course.She takes her phone over to the counter.
Roz: Hi, Luke. [Niles looks up again] Oh damn, I just made plans...
Well, if you put it that way, how can I say no? I'll see you
at eight, OK.She hangs up and goes back.
Roz: Bad news, Frasier. My babysitter's all booked up, so can we
rearrange dinner?
Frasier: What a shame. [takes out his phone] Excuse me.He goes his phone to the counter.
Frasier: Yeah Luke, it's Fras again. Listen, um, my plans just got
canceled and I was thinking maybe we could... oh, really?
Well, that's-that's kind of quick, wasn't it? [Niles nods to
himself] Well, no problem. All right, yeah, I'll talk to you
tomorrow, bye.He goes back. Roz is opening her gift.
Roz: Frasier, this is the bracelet I wanted!
Frasier: Yes, I remembered.
Roz: Oh, you're such a good friend. You're so caring and thoughtful
and... loyal. I got to make a phone call, I'll be right back!She goes to the counter. Niles gets up and heads for the door.
Roz: Luke, it's Roz again. Bad news...
Frasier: [as Niles goes by] Oh Niles, listen, as it turns out I am
available for that concert tonight-
Niles: No you're not.He exits, leaving Frasier confused.
Fred if you put that scene up in Critique, it would be mauled. The first thing someone would say is "There's not much "com" in this sitcom".
And yet Frasier is one of the funniest comedies ever.
Micheal Jacob , (A BBC luminary who occasionally posts on these boards) once told me that with new writers he often spends a lot of time telling them to actully take jokes OUT of scripts, and that includes me. Not because they're not funny - but because it's overkill. Obviously I think it depends on the type of comedy as well - a gag-packed script wouldn't work in an episode of Smoking Room for example. But I find it a constant struggle to not have every page I write packed with gags, because I'm imagining the producer or whatever sat down reading my script, and I don't want there to be a single moment where they get bored. That's probably down to a lack of self-confidence on my part to allow the characters some slack and let them breathe, as it were.
Quote: Lee Henman @ January 25 2009, 9:40 PM GMTNot so sure I totally agree with you there Mr S - especially not on the Royle Family. I've got all the scripts to that show (as well as an original somewhere!) and it really onl;y works on paper because I'm imagining the house, the actors, Jim as Jim etc. If you just read the words on the page without that foresight, it's pretty dull stuff.
Fred if you put that scene up in Critique, it would be mauled. The first thing someone would say is "There's not much "com" in this sitcom".
And yet Frasier is one of the funniest comedies ever.Micheal Jacob , (A BBC luminary who occasionally posts on these boards) once told me that with new writers he often spends a lot of time telling them to actully take jokes OUT of scripts, and that includes me. Not because they're not funny - but because it's overkill. Obviously I think it depends on the type of comedy as well - a gag-packed script wouldn't work in an episode of Smoking Room for example. But I find it a constant struggle to not have every page I write packed with gags, because I'm imagining the producer or whatever sat down reading my script, and I don't want there to be a single moment where they get bored. That's probably down to a lack of self-confidence on my part to allow the characters some slack and let them breathe, as it were.
The Frasier extract was a Season 8 episode. They'd had 7 previous years of building up to doing what they want. Read early Fraiser, it's packed full of one-liners.
I think the Royles ARE funny on the page, okay not throughout but it does have some trad gags in. Albeit ones covered in pathos and pauses.
Why do people worry about it being funny on the page? Don't make excuses for why people aren't interested in the script - write something funny. If it's picked up, then worry about putting in ideas that might not seem as good on paper.
Caroline Aherne had spent years doing character stuff - she's earned the right to try something daring.
Lee - I wouldn't stop what you were doing. Is a producer really going to say 'Shit, guys, this is TOO funny - lets not call him in.'
You've got earn the right to say 'You know, this might not work on paper, but it will on screen'.
I had a School of Comedy sketch idea when writing for the series, but I couldn't write it because it would have looked totally shit on paper. In my head it was very funny, but I couldn't head my script with 'The following sketch requires the actor to do some serious comedy business.'
I don't think I've ever written anything that 'wouldn't work on paper'. Is there an art to it?
Quote: Seefacts @ January 25 2009, 10:15 PM GMTLee - I wouldn't stop what you were doing. Is a producer really going to say 'Shit, guys, this is TOO funny - lets not call him in.'
You've got earn the right to say 'You know, this might not work on paper, but it will on screen'.
I think Micheal's comments were also about the importance of the humour coming from the character, and not from the fact that it's just a funny line. It's something you have to be very carefl about I think. Yes, it's just one opinion but the guy's read thousands of scripts and knows what he's talking about, so I have tried very hard to implement what he's said and reign the "funny" in a bit. I must say it's bloody hard to go against your writing instincts though.
I think the main problems can be ironed out in any script on read-through day. I always imagine that's when I'll be there with a big red pen, slicing great cancerous tumours out of my script out with all the finesse of a pissed blind surgeon.
Maybe some day. :-(
You are not going to get all the funny out of a script by reading it; as much of the humour is in the performance. The writer can sort of imagine the performance, but it is much harder for the reader. But if you have script that is all funny lines you end up with Lab Rats, which was probably a scream to read. A terribly difficult balancing act for the writer, particularly a newbie whom a producer has no reason to trust sufficiently to make any effort of imagination.
Quote: Seefacts @ January 25 2009, 10:15 PM GMTYou've got earn the right to say 'You know, this might not work on paper, but it will on screen'.
I had a School of Comedy sketch idea when writing for the series, but I couldn't write it because it would have looked totally shit on paper. In my head it was very funny, but I couldn't head my script with 'The following sketch requires the actor to do some serious comedy business.'
Mister C no 'artist' has to earn the right to do anything.
And ... 'I couldn't write it' means what you mean it to mean. Every thing starts in the head - getting it on to the paper and translating the idea is the job.
C stands for seefacts not wing!
Quote: Griff @ January 25 2009, 11:18 PM GMTSurely you've got to do your best to be funny on the page (which as Lee and Micheal Jacob point out, isn't the same as every line being a gag).
So if a sketch is only going to work if the actor pulls off certain comedy business, then describe it so it's clear what you want them to do.
If a sitcom is trying to build up a naturalistic atmosphere (like The Royle Family) then make that clear in things like scene headings.
Basically if you've got a clear idea in your head why what you've written should be funny, the only thing stopping you communicating that to the reader is you?
Yeah but what do you mean?