Fencing

OK - it's probably not original. One of those "must've been done before" but here it is.

FENCING

CALLER : Hello. Is that CD Fencing?

MAN : Yes sir. How can I help?

CALLER : I found your number in the phone book.

MAN : So what have you got for me then?

CALLER : I'm sorry? What have I got for you?

MAN : That's right. What have you got for me?

CALLER : But you're supposed to offer the service.

MAN : And I am. So what is it then - DVD player, Digital Camera? Laptops?

CALLER (PUZZLED) : I want a fence.

MAN : Well I'm your man.

CALLER : No - a fence. A wooden fence - trellis - something like that.

MAN : Well why did you ring me then?

CALLER : Your name - CD Fencing.

MAN : Oh I see! There's been a bit of a misunderstanding. Stolen goods - that's what we deal in!

CALLER : But that's illegal.

MAN : Shhh! Someone will hear.

CALLER : But you advertised in the phone book.

MAN : Well how else am I supposed to get any business?

CALLER : I thought it was usually word of mouth - in the pub.

MAN : Wow - that's a good idea. I'll try that. Actually you know - you're not the first person to get it wrong.

CALLER : You surprise me.

MAN : I've got another number. Maybe they'll be able to help you.

CALLER : Thanks for your help.

CLICKS THE PHONE DOWN. PAUSE THEN HE RINGS ANOTHER NUMBER.

WOMAN : Hello - FSR Fencing. How can I help?

CALLER : I understand you supply fencing equipment.

WOMAN : Yes sir. What would you like? Foil? Rapier? Sabre?

CLOSE

This is why you should call 118-118.

I think the actor playing the shopkeeper, would have to be really animated or you could squeeze in a few more jokes? But overall it's a pretty good, radio sketch?

Quote: Leevil @ July 14, 2007, 9:58 PM

This is why you should call 118-118.

I think the actor playing the shopkeeper, would have to be really animated or you could squeeze in a few more jokes? But overall it's a pretty good, radio sketch?

View original

That's the way I swa it really. See I've changed it from "shopkeeper" to "Man" because he isn't actually a shop keeper.

I could lengthen it a bit maybe but let's see what anyoneelse says.

I liked it alot David. Now go and do one thats ruder.

WUDE! WUDE!

Quote: Charley @ July 15, 2007, 1:30 AM

I liked it alot David. Now go and do one thats ruder.

WUDE! WUDE!

View original

Sorry - I can't do WUDE - that's your territory.

You lying bastard. You can do very wude.
I liked it David. You get some gold star stickers.

Quote: Charley @ July 15, 2007, 2:03 AM

You get some gold star stickers.

View original

Those things always ruin nude pictures

Quote: Charley @ July 15, 2007, 2:03 AM

You lying bastard. You can do very wude.
I liked it David. You get some gold star stickers.

View original

Where are you going to stick them?

It's more original than you think. I don't recall it being done before. Good.

Thanks earman. I just thought maybe it was too obvious a pun.

Hey Hey... I liked it muchley... you write very sharp and as a conversation really takes place... quick... direct... and funny to the point.. visual in words... which is very hard... we see expression and eye movements... not the obvious slipping because it's funny the way you write.. but hey you aint fu**** Woddy Allen so calm down Mr ok

Thanks Reiss and everyone. Maybe I'll pitch it somewhere. Any ideas?

Liked it very much. You may want to switch from CD fencing though. Just makes me think of Compact Disks and distracts from what you're doing.

the idea is "seedy" as in underhand or corrupt although I know what you mean.

I liked it... nice and simple... funny. There are very slight overtones of the famous 'fork handles' but that's not a bad thing. Overall it's good.