Quote: sootyj @ January 25 2009, 9:48 AM GMTI went to a computer course, turns out it was a course computer.
I tried to download windows and it told me to f**k off.
I like this and it's similar to some of my other gags style wise, I may, with your permission Joel, use it.
Thanks
Yes go on then, you can use it.
I went on a Computer Appreciation Course, but they didn't appreciate me!
Quote: billwill @ January 25 2009, 12:28 PM GMTI went on a Computer Appreciation Course, but they didn't appreciate me!
So basically you crashed.
Computers are like women, you have to punch the information into them.
I went on a computer course but it didn't work out...I was thrown off it after a week.
They showed me how to surf the web and everything but that's when the trouble started.
All those specialist sites I found meant I spent too much time playing with my hard-drive.
Thank yeewww and goodnight!
Quote: Geoff Mutton @ January 25 2009, 12:47 PM GMTComputers are like women, you have to punch the information into them.
This is funny as
I wouldnt try it though...
I went on a computer course, but I had to restart it because my memory wasn't up to it.
(Maybe repeat it a couple of jokes later too, playing on the memory angle)
I've got to go on a drink driving course now, *swig bottle of beer* I'm nowhere near pissed enough.
I've got to go now. I have to take my St Bernard back to the dog centre - his barrel's empty.
'I went on a computer course to meet women...?' I can see where you're going wrong. Aside from the usual computer related gags - viruses, she had ME, laptop, etc. -
you could concentrate on what a bad idea it is to go on a computer course to meet hot chicks.
Something along the lines of 'I went on a computer course to meet women, which is a bit like...(throw in appropriate anaology here)'
I like whores who can't tell jokes.
They've no gag reflex.
Just writing gags for 118 118 and knew that one wouldn't get through.
Quote: oldcowgrazing @ January 25 2009, 9:56 AM GMTYou're funny.
There was no danger of me getting cross-post syndrome there then. 
For me personally Danny, the set builds up nicely to the excellent futile and desperate scenarios but I think you need to resolve that situation for your audience, rather than trump each new scenario by finding the 'killer' one. Instead, resolve your 'dilemma' by saying you now have a girlfriend but turn that into the final twist or that you've now given up and then make an appeal to girls in the audience; something that contradicts, if that makes sense?
I wanted to do the computer course but after the soup, lasagne and the chocolate fudge sundae I couldn't eat any more.
Good opener Danny. 
Leevil if you ever got married would you play Cliff Richard at your wedding.
As she'd be a Leevil Woman.