A red squirrel and a grey squirrel are sat together eating nuts.
Grey : What's wrong with you Harry?
Red : My girlfriend's bloody left me.
Grey : Oh dear, I'm sorry.
Red : She said I was an embarrassment.
Grey : Really? That's harsh.
Red : She said if she kept seeing me she'd never be able to show her face at Stamford Bridge again.
Grey : I'd say that was an advantage, but I don't really understand women.
Red : She said that I was a racist.
Grey : Well she might have a point.
Red : What?
Grey : Well, I know you only call it me out of affection and friendship. But I do get a bit offended when you call me "Old Grey Haired Bastard!"
Red: Really? But as a point of order I'm right. As you are both grey haired and illegitimate.
Grey : True. But it don't make it any better – we've tried very hard to integrate. That word "grey". it's so offensive to us. Let's face it you don't get on with the other lads either do you.
Red : Well you come over here, stealing our nuts, taking our trees!
Grey : See what I mean! You're a racist.
Red : You bloody well out number us now – in our own bloody country.
Grey : Yes well guess what?
Red : What?
Grey : Nut's and tree's aren't the only things we steal. We also come over here and take your women.
Red : Eh?
Grey : Chelsy ! She's shagging me now. She says I can offer her bigger nuts than you could ever hope to have.
Red : You really are a bastard aren't you.
Grey : And do you know the thing that really used to make her feel sick you little racist runt?
Red : What?
Grey : Your ginger pubes!
that's a good idea.