Great lines that no-one else remembers

There a couple of lines from OFAH that crack me up whenever I hear them...

SCENE: Hospital where Albert being treated for food poisoning

DEL: C'Mon Rodders. You're the one with the GCEs.

RODNEY: Del, I've got a GCE in maths and art, not a GCE in pork!

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SCENE: Dentists waiting room where the receptionist is arguing with Del. Trigger approaches

RECEPTIONIST: What do you want you moron!

TRIGGER: Just a couple of fillings

It's the thought of have a qualification in pork and having a receptionist speak to someone like that without the visitor batting an eyelid that always tickled me.

I'm enjoying this thread.

There is a line in Filthy, Rich & Catflap, where Nigel Planer's character is talking to Ritchie about killing four milkman. I can't as yet locate the exact quote but it's something like:

RALPH FILTHY:
I don't know daughter. If you'd only killed the one you could laugh it off, but not four milkmen.

I think this line is great (by that I mean the true line from the script).

If anyone knows the exact line then please post it.

Def.

I always remember the line in Garth Marenghi's Dark place in the Ape episode where Dr. Sanchez bursts out of the operating room having failed an op:

"Not my fault. Bastard monkey hands!"

And although Spaced is crammed full of gems, I'll never forget:

Daisy: "Tim wants to see you"
Mike: "Wants or needs?"
Daisy: "Um, needs"

Quote: ADuck @ January 15 2009, 9:48 AM GMT

"Not my fault. Bastard monkey hands!"

View original

Not my fault, monkey bastard hands!

Also in that episode when Garth wakes up and sees Monkeys have taken over he says:

"They've taken over" and Learner says "I know" but the timing is hilarious!

This is my favourite line from OFAH

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=aTr1h8rKb7w&feature=related

Jeff Green in the connections round of Buzzcocks. Answering what was the connection between Spandau Ballet and Pulp he said:

"Spandau was a prison and Ballet is a type of dance... and Jarvis Cocker's real name is Pentonville Fandango."

Or from the Headmaster episode of People Like Us, an assembly announcement:

"This week's meeting of the problem solving club will be held in room 3b on the second floor of D block...but you're not allowed to use the stairs."

Steptoe and Son- Pilgrim's Progress
ALBERT: I'll go back to the desert, I was a legend out there, the only foreigner for miles
HAROLD: Steptoe of Arabia that's all we need.

Alan Partridge lines I always remembered:

'Lynne, is that a snub nosed Uzi?
'The bereavement dividend.'
'Lynne, you're looking remarkably cheerful considering its the first anniversary of the death of your mother.'
'Fanny hair.'

Police Squad:
MAN:'Sergeant book her and take her away.'
NIELSEN: (shaking hands) Sergeant Booker, Sergeant Takeraway.

Spaced:
Brian: Do you think I should lose the waistcoat?
Tim: I think you should burn it, cos if you lose it... you might find it...

Red Dwarf ('Tikka To Ride'):
Lister: Down there. Where all those people are gathered 'round that giant pizza.
Kryten: That's not a giant pizza, sir.
Lister: Not a giant pizza! It's got to be eight foot across! Where do you eat? The 'Fat-Bastard-erria'?!

And 'Camille':
Kryten: [Come and meet the crew -- ] you'll like them. Some of them. One of them. Maybe.

Friends:
Ross: How many tickets do you want, Rach?
Rach: Two.
Ross: Who's number two?
Chandler: Ah, 'Whose Number Two?' -- one of the more difficult games played by sewage workers...

Amongst many, many others!

Dan

All 'NORM !'

Woody: 'What's up Mr Peterson?'

Norm: 'My nipples Woody, it's minus 20 out there !'

or

'One beer coming up Mr Peterson.'

'Wrong Woody. One beer going down Mr Peterson !'

The Goodies.
The episode when they are entombed in concrete.
Tim realises he will never pro-create.
"A Son! I must have a Son! Graeme, you're a Doctor..."

My fav Young Ones bit

It's a Vampire
In the parcel
In the Kitchen
Hate Mail

I'm not a big fan of Ideal but I remember the line when his shirt is covered in blood and the gay scally asks what label it is and Moz says
"It's versache after the shooting."

Also Fawlty Towers' episode The Kipper And The Corpse:
"I asked him what time he wanted breakfast, it's hardly the Gettysburg Address."

Edited by Aaron - capitalisation.

Family Guy

Peter trying to get rid of Tom and Dianne

"Make like a Siamese twin and split....and then one of you die"