Mash up TV3 full metal Dad's Army

IN THE TOILETS AT THE CHURCH CORPORAL PIKE IS SITTING ON A TOILET WITH A RIFLE LANCE CORPORAL JONES IS TALKING TO HIM.

JONES

I say Pike what are you doing at this time? Shouldn't you be home.

PIKE

I am in a world of shit.

JONES

I say no need for that sort of language young man, it reminds me of when I told Lord Kitchener to f**k off. I was on patrol.....

PIKE

Shut it old man, I've had it with that moustachiod wind bag pushing me around.

JONES

I say Pike are those live bullets?

PIKE

303 Lee Enfield full metal jackets.

JONES

Reminds me of how I killed a whore who gave me syphilis in Omduman...

PIKE SHOOTS JONES WHO DIES

CAPTAIN MANNERING STORM IN

MANNERING

What's going on? Jones what are you doing on the floor bleeding and ignoring your senior officer? Pike!

PIKE STARES MADLY AT MANNERING AND AIMS HIS RIFLE.

MANNERING

What is your major malfunction you stupid boy?

PIKE SHOOTS MANNERING AND THEM HIMSELF.

Nice! But lots of blood!

I was just struck by how similar the power relations were between the two shows.

It's Mainwaring, Sooty.

Will correct it's pronounced Mannering isn't it?

I'm a phonic youth.

Nice!

The sketch or the hideous pun? Which I will no doubt scrape up like warm tramps vomit and e-mail somewhere

The sketch is worthless. Otherwise I would have commented in my original post.

The certainty of your opinions has a certain George Bushesque naive charm

What do you want, a reach around?

I bet you say that to all the girls with low morals and worthless sketchs...

I think I'd file this one under 'interesting' rather than 'funny'.

'Phonic youth' was excellent though.

Ok Mashup TV wasn't my best idea I think it could work if I got a better handle on the dialogue.
We fall to rise and all that.

I will now not write First Blood of the Likely Lads or Porrdige Scum

"Get down that conservatory Godber you nerk!"

I'm afraid it means nothing to me. The Dads Army bits are quite funny but I've never seen Full Metal Jacket which I presume its supposed to pastiche.

I've always liked this sketch. The insanity of it makes me guffaw.