British Comedy Guide

The anti joke Page 4

Heres one out of mine:

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To confirm to it's stereotype"

Shit I know but I love these types of jokes and write them a lot when I get the chance.

Stuart Laws has a good selection of these types of jokes that work very well (if anyones interested).

Genius you sending that to 118?

Where does Stuart Laws hide his japes?

What do you get if you cross a baboon and a chimpanzee?
Your head kicked in by 2 angry primates.

I'm not sure this is quite an anti joke, but It might be.

Q.)What has 8 legs, 3 heads & two wings.

A.) A man on a horse holding a budgie.

I thought of this but I don't know if its an anti or shite joke.

If silence is golden, what would you find at the end of a noisy rainbow?

Quote: sootyj @ January 22 2009, 6:05 PM GMT

What do you get if you cross a baboon and a chimpanzee?
Your head kicked in by 2 angry primates.

What do you get if you cross an archbishop and a cardinal?
Your head kicked in by 2 angry primates.

Ooh nice twist.

Quote: sootyj @ January 22 2009, 7:42 PM GMT

Ooh nice twist.

The primate or the rainbow one?

Primate.

WOMAN: Is that a banana in your pocket?
MAN: No, it's my cock.

Not sure if this is an anti joke, but came up with this:

What do you get if you cross the Pope and the Chief Rabbi?
You should never cross a Rabbi

Definitely not an anti-joke, but what the hell, I like it:

A scriptwriter dies and Saint Peter offers him a choice of Heaven or Hell.
The writer asks to see both, so Saint Peter leading him through the doorway to hell. Inside, the scriptwriter sees row upon row of faceless hacks, all bent over desks, scribbling frantically as giant red devils lay into them with heavy whips.
The writer is not keen on what he sees and asks to see heaven instead. They go up the great white escalator and Saint Peter leads him through another doorway. Inside, the writer again sees row upon row of faceless hacks, all bent over desks, scribbling frantically as giant red devils lay into them with heavy whips.
The writer turns to Saint Peter appalled: 'But I thought you said this was Heaven!'.
'It is,' Saint Peter smiles. 'Up here the scripts get made.'

Nice gag, Exocet :)

row upon row of faceless hacks, all bent over desks, scribbling frantically as giant red devils lay into them with heavy whips.

I see BBC Writing Academy is getting tougher. :P

Knock knock

Who's there?

F**k off, we're playing bridge

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get its own back: that bastard road has been dining out for years on the same formulaic joke.

And they say brevity is the soul of wit Whistling nnocently

Quote: Fred Sunshine @ January 22 2009, 7:03 PM GMT

I'm not sure this is quite an anti joke, but It might be.

Q.)What has 8 legs, 3 heads & two wings.

A.) A man on a horse holding a budgie.

Q. How do you turn a chicken into a budgie?

A. Alter an earlier post. [Halfway down page 3 of this thread]

Quote: sootyj @ January 22 2009, 6:05 PM GMT

Genius you sending that to 118?

Where does Stuart Laws hide his japes?

I'll send it now!

And I've seen a couple of Laws sets he has a lot of random jokes like that EG:

"What did the pelican say to the elephant?........ GAHH!!! It's a f**king pelican what do you expect it to say?"

The delivery more than anything made me piss myself.

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