You speak troot.
The anti joke Page 3
What do you call a man with a spade in his head?
An ambulance.
I see basil brush has become a suicide bomber, he went boom boom.
What! Don't look at me like that!
My favourite when I was six.
Hey! Guess what?
What?
Ooh, good guess.
My dad's a necrophiliac and my mum's bang into her bestiality, which probably explains why I always tell the dog to play dead before I f**k him.
Q. What was Rod Hull's favourite P2P file sharing application?
A. He didn't have one. In 1999 Rod fell off his roof and died while attempting to adjust his TV aerial trying to get a better picture of the Inter Milan v Manchester United Champions League Quarter Final 2nd Leg, a year before peer-to-peer file sharing really took off. Manchester United won the tie.
Peter Kay robbed one of my jokes, but I just said "Have it".
What's red and blue and black and lives in my garage?
I don't know.
Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?
He bought a ware house!
No, I said he was dyslexic not f**king stupid
Quote: Matthew Stott @ January 21 2009, 9:19 AM GMTWhat's red and blue and black and lives in my garage?
I don't know.
A refugee from Doncaster Social Services?
Double prizes to Stott and Mutton, even if Stotts is the only antijoke and quite a beautitful one at that,=.
What's got 8 legs, 3 heads and a pair of wings?
A man sitting on a horse holding a chicken.
Nice.
What's big and hard and scares pensioners?
Lifes hard choices.
An English man, an Irish man and a Scotsman went into a pub.
They were thirsty.
Simple Simon met a Pie-Man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pie-Man: "What have you got there?"
"Pies, you retard" replied the Pie-Man.
So this shed, a mint and a penis walk into a bar.
Oi no anthropromorphisations shouted the bar man.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half your family have been horribly murdered.
C/O Emo Phillips
What's the difference between a bowl of chili, and a urologist?
One is hot and spicy, and the other examines your urine.