NEWS SKETCH
TWO MEN ARE SAT IN A CAFÉ.ONE IS READING A NEWSPAPER.
1ST MAN:
An MP says here dyslexia doesn't exist.
2nd MAN:
Try telling that to dyslexic alcoholic who goes into Waterstones for a pint.
1st MAN:
Corronation Street had to cover up a cross during a wedding scene.
2nd MAN:
No hope for Crossroads making a come back?
1st Man:
Patrick McGoohan,The Prisoner died aged 85.
2nd MAN:
He was a number after all then?
1st MAN:
Baroness Shriti Vaderia says she can see some green shoots on the jobs front.
2nd MAN:
That makes me cross,or am I not allowed to say that in front of her?
1st MAN:
Looks like the NHS want to give fat people 425 pounds to lose weight,pounds for pounds they're calling it.
2nd MAN:
They ought to give then euros,as in you get your fat ass to a gym,sit on a rowing machine and you row.Fat Bleeders.
1st Man:
An MP got the mace in the House of Commons.
2nd MAN:
I hope a few others got sprayed aswell.The place is packed with villans.
1st MAN:
Still more jobs axed.
2nd MAN:
For one moment I had the vision of Gordon Brown,Alistair Darling and Lord Mandelson sat around a table laughing and joking,while Simon Cowell pitches the idea for a new television show Axe Factor.
1st MAN:
One town hall is offering women upaid time off to have boob jobs
2nd MAN:
Bet that'll go tits up.
1st MAN:
Swearing is now the blight of Britain.
2nd MAN:
What the F**k is that all about?
1st MAN:
I'll get some more tea.Want a look at the paper?
1st MAN:
Nah, never bother to read them.
End