SIR:
Hoskins? About these new calendars...
HOSKINS:
Yes sir?
SIR:
I've spotted a few anomalies...well, several actually. For example Easter Sunday. As I'm sure you are aware this was the day of the resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ.
HOSKINS:
Of course.
SIR:
Can you explain then why it's now listed as the Great Choccy Egg Fest?
HOSKINS:
Ah, dedicated to St Nestle of Kit Kat. It was the guys in marketing's idea. They felt that the calendar needed a bit of revamp to make it more relevant for the modern world.
SIR:
A revamp?
HOSKINS:
Yes, it's an acknowledgement that the public are finding it more and more difficult to relate to the church these days. Let's face it they're more interested in food which is precisely why we've organised a number of product placements and a major advertising campaign to help promote this little jolly. And to celebrate getting time off work of course.
SIR:
It's not a holiday, Hoskins.
HOSKINS:
Yes it is.
SIR:
Well, yes but that's not why it's there. It's a religious festival to commemorate one of the most important events in the Christian calendar. Jesus died on the cross...for us all.
HOSKINS:
That's precisely why we've introduced a new slogan to help recognise that.
SIR:
Which is?
HOSKINS:
Thank Crunchie it's Good Friday.
SIR:
That's preposterous!
HOSKINS:
We're merely reflecting the mood of the nation, sir.
SIR:
So what about Easter Monday.
HOSKINS:
Oh, we were pleased with this one. It is a day for travellers when people set off for the coast with the feeling that the Summer is well on its way.
SIR:
So who have you got to promote that? Cadbury's Double Decker?
HOSKINS:
Robertson's Jam.
END
I liked this line particularly: