I've just had to phone Vodafone because I managed to lock myself out of my new mobile that arrived yesterday. 
Status report Page 307
Quote: PhQnix @ January 13 2009, 3:35 PM GMT*high-5*
Stan! You're back! How are you?
Good good, I had an affair with Azza for a while, but then found out he'd been seeing Laura behind my back. She'd been hiding in the cupboard during our lovemaking. If only I'd logged on to the board once in a while I would've seen through all the lies. 
How have things been on BSG?
Quote: Moonstone @ January 13 2009, 4:58 PM GMTYay, it's Stan Doubt!
I asked where you'd gone. I DID!
Bless, although I'm glad that ian_w seems to have left the board now. Between you and me, I think he was an evil genius recruiting for an army of internet nerds to take over the world. I wonder if he succeeded...
Quote: Stan Doubt @ January 13 2009, 6:21 PM GMTHow have things been on BSG?
It's all been a bit to lovey-dovey for my tastes. Aaron and zooo, Nil and Julia... makes me sick really. 
I know! I honestly can't stand it!
Hiiiii Laura!
Go to your rooms and do your homework.
Or no tea for you!
You're not my mummy! Roooooo! 
But yes, Miss Laura, straight away...
I'm the babysitter Ruby hired while she's out on the streets earning enough money to keep you two in shoes!
Did I say on the streets? 
I meant um... organising picnics for bunny rabbits.
Couldn't the baby sitter just leave us alone... 
And why is Ruby mother to *both* of us? 
No.
Mainly because I haven't been paid yet.
If you'd care to smash open your piggy bank, I'll make myself extremely scarce. 
Quote: Scatterbrained Floozy @ January 13 2009, 6:50 PM GMTAnd why is Ruby mother to *both* of us?
It's not my place to judge.
Is this why you spoke to all of those girls about incest that time, Smelly?
Eep! It's like Luke and Leia all over again! I didn't know!
And shhhh Robyn.