Lee I bought a card of yours at Christmas. I can't quite remember it though. There's a boy on an old crap bike and the caption is 'Mother what part of somethingsomething quad bike do you not understand?' Or is that not one of yours? Anyways are you ok with helping out potential competition?
Quote: Beelzebozo @ January 7 2009, 6:32 PM GMTLee I bought a card of yours at Christmas. I can't quite remember it though. There's a boy on an old crap bike and the caption is 'Mother what part of somethingsomething quad bike do you not understand?' Or is that not one of yours? Anyways are you ok with helping out potential competition?
I think the card you're talking about is the one with the kid on the shitty trike and the caption goes something like "So Mother," said Toby on Christmas morning, "What part of Suzuki All-Terrain Quad Bike did you not understand?" Yeah it's mine - sold tens of thousands of copies, that one I believe. Where are royalties when you need them?
What competition?
Lee - do you source the photos used or are you given a selection to work with?
Quote: Dolly Dagger @ January 7 2009, 7:06 PM GMTLee - do you source the photos used or are you given a selection to work with?
For photo humour card ranges they give us cds with thousands of images on that they've already bought the rights to. For general humour I just have to use my imagination and write gags. The photo humour ones are always more fun to do though.
Lee, what's your favourite colour?
Quote: Leevil @ January 7 2009, 7:10 PM GMTLee, what's your favourite colour?
Cock End Purple.
Quote: Lee Henman @ January 7 2009, 7:11 PM GMTCock End Purple.
Does it taste as good as it looks?
Quote: Leevil @ January 7 2009, 7:12 PM GMTDoes it taste as good as it looks?
No, but Piss Flap Pink is delicious
Quote: Lee Henman @ January 7 2009, 7:13 PM GMTNo, but Piss Flap Pink is delicious
If you like that, may I recommend Bum hole brown?
Quote: Leevil @ January 7 2009, 7:14 PM GMTIf you like that, may I recommend Bum hole brown?
Certainly. But only if I can offer you a splash of Salty Semen Hint Of Cream.
Quote: Lee Henman @ January 7 2009, 7:19 PM GMTCertainly. But only if I can offer you a splash of Salty Semen Hint Of Cream.
Mmm, reminds me of Essence of Nob Cheese.
Sorry to draw attention from your new x-rated Dulux colour range Lee but how did you get established as a card writer?
I take it a card company wouldn't be willing to send a newbie pictures to work with?
Where would you recommend to start?
Quote: Tom G @ January 7 2009, 7:25 PM GMTSorry to draw attention from your new x-rated Dulux colour range Lee but how did you get established as a card writer?
I take it a card company wouldn't be willing to send a newbie pictures to work with?
Where would you recommend to start?
I got established by starting to write on one range of cards (the black and white photo humour caption type), then after a while they asked me if I'd like a pop at their other ranges. It's like anything, small steps. Although there are people who burst onto the scene, all fresh and new and make thousands of pounds a week for a short while - but those people almost always burn themselves out and are never in for the long haul. So it's like anything, you have to keep at it, keep sending your stuff in and be patient.
The card company I'm contracted to don't as a rule send the images out to new writers as those ranges are worked on by their core team of experienced writers. But that doesn't stop you from sourcing images yourself, putting funny captions on them and sending them in. If they like your style they may give you a shot.
I'd recommend you start with Clintons, WHSMiths, Birthdays, etc. Take a pad and pen and make a note of card companies you like (you'll find their names and email addys on the back of the cards). Contact tehm and ask them nicely if you can send them some ideas. Card companies have a voracious appetite for new material and will always say yes but it's best to contact first and get a name. Then start sending. There are all sorts of technical writing tips I could give you b ut it's probably best to learn them yourself. I will say one thing though ; Sending situation. You MUST be able to picture somebody going into a card shop and buying your card. Dolly Dagger suggested (jokingly I'm sure) spending some money on printing up some humorous death condolence cards. Very funny idea but would you buy one for a grieving relative? Nope, and nor would anyone else.
It seems an obvious point but people think up ideas that would NEVER get on WHSmiths shelves and it always amazes me why they're surprised when they don't get bought. For instance an artist pal of mine designed a Christmas card that had a snowy scene on the front with a die-cut hole, and when you opened the card it said "Have a spunky Christmas!" and the snow was actually sperm gushing out of a huge, photo-realistic illustration of a veiny penis. Actually that's one I WOULD buy just to shock my sisters, but no card company is ever going to publish that.
Quote: Lee Henman @ January 7 2009, 8:19 PM GMTDolly Dagger suggested (jokingly I'm sure) spending some money on printing up some humorous death condolence cards. Very funny idea but would you buy one for a grieving relative? Nope, and nor would anyone else.
I would. It's a time when someone particularly needs cheering up, ain't it?
Thanks for sharing Lee, oh and the cards info too.