TORY RESPONSE
David Cameron and George Osbourne are sat having a meeting.
DC : Brown's come up with a scheme to get 100,000 people into green jobs. It looks like a winner to me.
GO : It's his rapid fire approach. If he comes up with 10 new ideas a day, multiples them by the starting price of the 3.30 at ascot then takes away the number he first thought of. One of them is bound to hit the mark sooner or later.
DC : We can't have Brown putting one over on us. We need come up with a million jobs. Come on Ozzy you're the ideas man.
GO: Well I've heard that some poor people actually have jobs. They need the money to pay for stuff like food apparently. You see they don't have servants who just bring food to them like us.
DC : Right go on.
GO : Well, now the bloody socialists have banned fox hunting we could allow normal folk to hunt those poor people who have jobs.
DC : Yes. Great. (PAUSE) How would that help?
GO : That way the hunts would create loads of new jobs in rural areas and we'd get the added benefit of new vacancies as the poor people get ripped apart by the dogs.
DC : You f**king fool Osbourne. You can't go around tearing people to pieces with dogs. It's inhumane and barbaric. The papers would say we'd returned to medieval politics. No it just won't work. (PAUSE) We'd simply have to shoot the bastards instead.