Okay this is the first time I have ever attempted to write a script and this is a very rough draft(rougher than sandpaper )Its just a very quick scene and I would love members to give me advice on...well everything lol(script format,characters etc)Thanks
INT.LOUNGE.DAY
A very obese dog is walking slowly on a treadmill, he is tied to the machine and extremely tired while staring at the television which is showing 'the jeremy kyle show'. Next to the treadmill Maureen is sitting in her armchair wearing mens boxer shorts and a huge white bra while drinking a can of beer through a straw.
MAUREEN
Neil get ya fat arse up ya lazy sod, ya gonna be late for work again.
(Neil already up wanders into the lounge while struggling to put his trousers on.)
Neil
(looking at the dog with a bemused expression on his face)
He's looking knackered shall I go put the 'Rocky' soundtrack on?
MAUREEN
Took him up the vets yesterday and the cheeky begger told me I need to take him for walks and get him some much needed exercise,can you believe that?
NEIL
Well when your 6 year old labrador looks like Russell Grant wearing a fur coat then yeah I can.
Maureen with a hurt expression on her face gets up,turns off the treadmill bringing the dog over to her seat as she sits back down.
MAUREEN
Here you go my precious little thing
(Maureen pulls out a mars bar from the side of her chair and feeds it to the dog)
Dont listen to anything my evil little nephew says.
NEIL
You've had that dog on there for how long exactly?
MAUREEN
forty five minutes.
NEIL
And how many calories has he burnt?
MAUREEN
just over 50
NEIL
And you reward him by giving him a mars bar containing 300 calories?
MAUREEN
We all deserve treats Neil when we put in the hard work, but you wouldnt know nothing about that.
NEIL
Whats that supposed to mean? I am currently training to become deputy manager of a highly successful...
MAUREEN
..Back street Bookies, A place where burglars broke in and the only thing taken was the bloody carpet.
NEIL
Well it was a nice carpet
MAUREEN
Yeah it was so nice the next day they brought it back.