Good advice, Graham.
Are we going to get weekly or monthly xls of joke tot-ups?
Avoid anything about illness
Ah. I take it my OCD jokes won't get through then.
118 118 Need Jokes Page 16
Or indeed my gag about Enola Gay.
I think I need a few rewrites after reading that. Very helpful, thanks.
They will if you keep sending them and resending them and resending them and resending them and resending them...
Quote: sootyj @ December 13 2008, 9:07 AM GMTWell they're pretty good especially 7 might I recommend resending them if you sent that a couple of months ago, I've resent some of mine.
Hey Sooty, just read the thread and feel many congrats (better l8 than never!) are in order for your Sun headliner! It's up there with "Freddie Starr Ate My Hamster" in the Sun hall of fame! lol 
More like Freddy Starr sneered at my hamster.
Actually a drunk Freddie Starr once threatened to burn my house down.
Quote: sootyj @ December 15 2008, 1:03 PM GMTActually a drunk Freddie Starr once threatened to burn my house down.
Can you be sure he was drunk? 
Absolutely certain, but Lionel Blair was sober.
Looked at the latest results (I can't post them as they have the jokes used on them and I suspect the 118 118 guys would violently bum me for that).
Good stuff Badge, Mikeyj, and Rob seem to be doing nicely (as does my good self).
Lots of almost got it but didn't.
I have to say looking at the jokes used 2 things jump out at me.
1 The quality is very high.
2 Anything to rude or even mean is out. And I lost out on a couple of jokes just for them being about chavs.
But well done guys nice pay outs look like they're enroute.
The Chav thing shocked me too! I mean if you can't insult a chav what can you do.
There are ways around the celeb / chav block and that is to make them slightly more generic.
For example say you want to make a joke about Victoria Beckham just replace her name with WAG.
If you want to do a joke about Rooney being stupid just replace his name with footballer.
Kate Moss = supermodel etc...
I agree not as funny, but it maybe your only chance to get the joke in.
Other than that don't be worried about trying different phrasing. Sometimes jokes get passed over because although the idea is strong the wording isn't quite right.
As Joel said the jokes are strong and if you have noticed that your gem was not used please feel free to e-mail me it again and ask why. Hopefully I will either have an answer or I will say "how did I miss that gem".
Graham
118jokes@gmail.com
Ooh, I sent in 2 written by my 16 year old son, and one has been accepted. I'm so pleased (more excited than he is, I think). Does this mean it really is going to be used (and paid for?). Sorry to appear daft but 50% success rate so far - I'm so proud of him!! Please let me know!
If it said "fine - used" then it was used and you will get paid. You will at some point get an e-mail asking you to invoice for the money.
The turnout is around 6 weeks from the time the joke was used to you getting paid.
Thank you. How much will he get?
Q: 118118, how would you define a joke?
A: As generically as possible.
Good to see the accepted Jokes.
Groaners the lot of them, but I love groaners with a passion as peope know!
Lot of LOL's from me.
Good job fellas, a few old ones in there but only a few.
Must try again myself in 2009.