Cured - Sketch - Incomplete!

Help!

I don't have my writing buddy or anyone at work who can assist in finishing this sketch so I'm going to bother you guys.

This is for a project I'm working on (it's radio based) and I could do with some quick feedback!

Sketch:

SCENE. INT. SCIENCE LAB. DAY.

2 Men are looking over a man laying down on an operating table

DR WOOD

My god, I believe this man has now been cured of the Aids virus, Dr Neil this could be the single biggest breakthrough in medicine since the discovery of penicillin!

DR NEIL

Now don't get too excited Dr Wood! We're not certain it's completely gone – there is only one way to find out-

DR WOOD

-Agreed! I'll get the lube and you get the gimp mask!

DR NEIL

Why would we need those for a standards blood works test?

DR WOOD

Because I like wearing leather whilst holding lubricated needles? And if you don't believe that please don't tell our project manager about me f**king the test patients!

END

Can anyone think of something that could be considered a punchline?

I think this could be a great little sketch, I was thinking possibly:

DR NEIL

As long as you don't tell anyone I've been wanking off the teaboy...

Yes? No?

HELP!

First off, it's great to see you back, on here andwriting again

Secondly, this is well written, apart from the end. I don't get it. So can't help you, until I do.

1 MAN SITS UP.

MAN

This is the worst f**king hair cut I've ever had I'm off to Nicky Clarke.

2

DR NEIL

I don't care about you f**king the patients. It's jsut that your to posh to fellate the Collubus monkeys with the rest of us.

3

DR NEIL

You divvy he never had AIDs, only severe flatulence and leprosy.

MAN FARTS SHOOTING DR WOODS PENIS OUT WHERE IT STICKS TO THE WALL.

Quote: Leevil @ January 2 2009, 3:05 PM GMT

First off, it's great to see you back, on here andwriting again

Secondly, this is well written, apart from the end. I don't get it. So can't help you, until I do.

And it's just 2 sick doctors put into a sketch that's all

View original

I'm on here rather a lot - I tend to keep to myself on the most part.

And thanks Lee, yes I've been writing again for a good month, I'm working on a project that I'm keeping hush, I will be revealing all soon

Quote: sootyj @ January 2 2009, 3:06 PM GMT

1 MAN SITS UP.

MAN

This is the worst f**king hair cut I've ever had I'm off to Nicky Clarke.

2

DR NEIL

I don't care about you f**king the patients. It's jsut that your to posh to fellate the Collubus monkeys with the rest of us.

3

DR NEIL

You divvy he never had AIDs, only severe flatulence and leprosy.

MAN FARTS SHOOTING DR WOODS PENIS OUT WHERE IT STICKS TO THE WALL.

View original

It's a radio based sketch and I liked 2

Where the hell are you sending this sordid amusement?

Count Arthur very Strong material?

Quote: sootyj @ January 2 2009, 3:13 PM GMT

Where the hell are you sending this sordid amusement?

Count Arthur very Strong material?

View original

Shall find out soon enough

How about:

"We're an NHS Hospital. Everyone who comes here gets f**ked one way or another."?

The old ones are almost always the oldest.

Ponderer I really like that, I may use that, would it be ok with you?

I'll be flattered if you do.

Good luck with the 'project'. It all sounds very intriguing.