Not sure where I'm going here but just an excuse to work in a bit of a groaner and have a pop at the Right
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INT. LOUNGE -DAY
A HUSBAND AND WIFE ARE SITTING AT A TABLE. BOTH READING THE DAILY MAIL.
HUSBAND:
Typical! The last place in these Islands to have had any sort of corporal punishment strategy and it's going all namby-pamby just like everywhere else.
WIFE:
What do you mean?
HUSBAND:
They want to bring back birching on the Isle of Man for all these bloody chavs and hoodies.
WIFE:
Namby pamby dear? I wouldn't say that the birch was exactly that. (BECOMING AROUSED) It was a brutal punishment meted out to those evil wrong-doing animals. Why many's the time I wish I'd been the one to administer it myself. They'll change their tune if it's brought back. Mark my words.
SHE STANDS UP AND ROLLS UP HER DAILY MAIL STARTING TO SWAT THE AIR.
WIFE:
Whack! Whack! Whack! That's the stuff to give them. Take that you piece of filth! Oooh can't we sell up here and move to Douglas dear?
HUSBAND (READING ALOUD)
Today in the Manx parliament plans to revive the much feared birch of yesteryear were debated. After a lengthy session new legislation was passed but a half-way house was agreed with the nod of the EEC, whereby the birch is to be replaced by the Manx cat o' no tails. A spokesman said that Brussels had stepped in to ensure convicts' human rights were in no way violated
THUDDING SOUND.
HUSBAND:
Beatrice? Beatrice are you all right? Speak to me darling...
END
