Nearest school(take 2)

I posted this sketch about a week ago, but it was shit. So I looked at a few other sketches to get a jist of how it needs to be written, I'm still far away from good writing but I hope I have made this sketch better. Again, any advise or constructive critism is more than welcome, even if the sketch is a little better I'd like to know so at least I know I'm making headway.

Nearest School Please

INT. HALLWAY OF A HOME

The sketch starts off with PETER who's in his 40's standing in his hallway on his house phone

PETER:
I KNOW WE'VE NEVER SPENT MUCH TIME TOGETHER, BUT IT'S GONNA BE DIFFERENT NOW. DADDY'S HOME… FOR GOOD

Cut to school playground

KERRY sighs

KERRY:
WHATEVER. JUST MAKE SURE YOU'VE GOT EVERYIN

PETER:
OK (pause) YE MUM GOT ANY TISSUES HERE, I'VE GOT A COLD

KERRY:
YOU'VE ALWAYS GOT A BLOODY COLD.
She mutters under her breath

PETER:
OK ANYTHING ELSE

KERRY:
DON'T FORGET THE BIRD BOOK EITHER; I WANNA FIND SOME 'ROUGH FACED SHAGS' THIS TIME

PETER opens the bird book and mimes the words 'Rough Faced Shag' and then looks relieved

PETER:
ALRIGHT THEN, WHAT'S THE SCHOOL AGAIN? NEVER COULD REMEMBER THAT FLIPPIN NAME

KERRY:
ST FRUCTUOSUS OF TARRAGONA

PETER:
ST FRUCTU-WARRA

KERRY:
DAAAAD, ST FRUCTUOSUS OF TARRAGONA, IT'S THE NEAREST SCHOOL FROM OURS. THERE'S HUGE BUSHES OUTSIDE THE PLAYGROUND. REMEMBER?

PETER:
ALRIGHT SWEETIE, I'LL BE THERE SOON

KERRY sighs again

KERRY:
OK, JUST HURRY UP

The taxi beeps its horn.

Peter gets in the taxi; the TAXI DRIVER is in his mid 30's

TAXI DRIVER:
WHERE TOO MATE?

PETER:
ARRRR WHAT WAS IT…

The camera zooms out from PETERS face

Peter is sitting in the middle of the back seat with a long coat on, some binoculars round his neck and a box of tissues on his knee

PETER:
JUST TAKE ME TO THE NEAREST SCHOOL. MAKE SURE THERES BIG BUSHES OUTSIDE THE PLAYGROUND

The taxi driver looks enraged

TAXI DRIVER:
GET OUT (pause) YOU PERVERT

Peter has a look of bewilderment on his face

PETER:
I'M ONLY AFTER A SHAG

The taxi driver looks even more enraged

Peter exits the taxi

END

You've got the makings of a good joke there, but you're explaining abit to much.

Also paedo jokes are a tough first subject to try for.

Perhaps if he's a council bird exterminator, and he's gone to the school looking for a shag?

Thanks for the feed back, the council bird exterminator is a good idea, made me laugh when I thought of how the sketch might unfold just from that idea, cheers. Also what do you mean when you say I'm explaining abit to much, do you mean the dialogue?

Yuh it's a good sketch but it feels like when he's listing the things his daughter wants, it feels like he's winking at the audience.

But like I say good idea.

i see, a bit too obvious. Might have to put this sketch to bed then, keep the idea but another setting, like your bird exterminator one. Cheers.