Quote: dannyjb1 @ December 18 2008, 1:07 PM GMTTo paraphrase a some comedian (I forget who...)
"If you don't have an 'oh that relative I have to deal with at Chrimbo" then you are one.
You took the words out of my mouth!!! 
Oh that relative I have to deal with at Chrimbo! Page 2
Quote: Dr Mato @ December 18 2008, 12:53 PM GMTNever except ones bringing bad wishes on a baby.
accept*
Quote: Curt @ December 18 2008, 12:56 PM GMTI have this one cousin who's a bit of a pompous ass. He'll say stuff like "Curt...still in school I presume" using a mocking tone in a crowded room of people.
Aw man, you're so weak! Your reply is thus:
"NAME...still a patronising c**t, I see."
Quote: Lee Henman @ December 18 2008, 1:03 PM GMTMy Mother-In-Law's coming to stay over Christmas. She's okay but she's a bit of a man-hater and purposely disagrees with everything I say, unless my wife agrees with me in which case she will switch opinion immediately. So a typical conversation will go like this:
ME:
Oh Charlie And The Chocolate Factory's on tonight. I love that film.MOTHER-IN-LAW:
(SNORTS IN LAUGHTER) Charlie And The Chocolate Factory! How old are you? (SNORTS IN LAUGHTER AGAIN) Do you want some jelly and ice cream to watch it with?WIFE:
I like Charlie And The Chocolate Factory.MOTHER-IN-LAW:
(STOPS SNORTING) Yeah it's a good film.
You're too tolerating as well!
Blimey people, I'd never put up with this shit!
Quote: dannyjb1 @ December 18 2008, 1:07 PM GMTTo paraphrase a some comedian (I forget who...)
"If you don't have an 'oh that relative I have to deal with at Chrimbo" then you are one.
Pffft! Impossible.
It just means that your family aren't obnoxious delinquents.
Or just scream 'C**t' at him at the top of your voice. It worked for me. Now I get to spend every Christmas without any annoying family around me. Or any family at all. *sobs*
Quote: Aaron @ December 18 2008, 1:12 PM GMTAw man, you're so weak! Your reply is thus:
"NAME...still a patronising c**t, I see."
I'll try to bring myself to use that one this Christmas.
You'll probably get a round of applause.
Quote: Aaron @ December 18 2008, 1:12 PM GMTPffft! Impossible.
It just means that your family aren't obnoxious delinquents.
Point proved I think 
Quote: dannyjb1 @ December 18 2008, 1:18 PM GMTPoint proved I think
Jeez I shall have to write the same to not be on a bad side alone.
Point proved......... I think 
Quote: dannyjb1 @ December 18 2008, 1:18 PM GMTPoint proved I think
I stay in my room on my computer, just like the rest of the year.
Actually, now I think about it, there is oneeee relative who is a tit. But he's a tit all year round, not just at Christmas. And nearly dead, thankfully.
And my brother's growing a beard and looks like Captain Birdseye. So that will f**k me right off.
I get along well with all my relatives. My brother with the wonky appendix is the only one I occasionally butt heads with, but we can usually enjoy a few days together without conflict. I'll miss having his boyfriend/partner/husband/whatever around this year. He, too, is recovering from surgery and can't make it to Sin City.
All dead. Or in Australia. Apart from my parents. So it's just me the kids and my parents. 
Longevity not a feature of my family really so if I'm not on here tomorrow send out the huskies.
My Dad's sister was a real bitch. I say "was" because I haven't seen her for years. She was always moving house, when I was a kid, and always inviting my family round, to show off. She was obviously loaded, but her Christmas presents were always shit. Actually, when I was 10, she stopped buying me and my sister presents. She's got quite a good job, running an old folks home, but she lied about her qualifications to get it. She now lives in a fancy house in France, which she no doubt paid for, using the majority of the money, from her and my Dad's dead Auntie and Uncle's will. It was meant to be split up eqaully amongst the family, but probably mostly went to her, after she no doubt got them to alter it, when they were high on medication, in her old folks home, which is where they lived, for the last year of their lives. I'd love to make it as a writer, just so I could make her jealous.
Quote: catskillz @ December 19 2008, 12:13 PM GMTMy Dad's sister was a real bitch. I say "was" because I haven't seen her for years. She was always moving house, when I was a kid, and always inviting my family round, to show off. She was obviously loaded, but her Christmas presents were always shit. Actually, when I was 10, she stopped buying me and my sister presents. She's got quite a good job, running an old folks home, but she lied about her qualifications to get it. She now lives in a fancy house in France, which she no doubt paid for, using the majority of her and my Dad's inheritance, from their dead Auntie and Uncle's will. It was meant to be split up eqaully amongst the family, but probably mostly went to her, after she no doubt got them to alter it, when they were high on medication, in her old folks home, which is where they lived, for the last year of their lives. I'd love to make it as a writer, just so I could make her jealous.
Sounds like a bitch. You should write a sitcom based on her, really piss her off if you made your fortune off her name.
And then kill her. Kill her in the face.
Quote: Aaron @ December 19 2008, 1:42 PM GMTAnd then kill her. Kill her in the face.
I don't know why I found that so funny but I did!
Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at Large @ December 18 2008, 12:01 PM GMT"My only wish for you next year is to spend Christmas with a husband. Someone will have to take you eventually."
Thanks.
I'm sure that there's a queue round the block.