Do you have a story to tell about a relative you have to tolerate this season? Tell all about it.
Oh that relative I have to deal with at Chrimbo!
I spend the holidays with my folks the Mothership and the Overlord and while Christmas is always great, they will wind me up a little. The Overlord will have total control of the remote and we will be forced to watch The History Channel after the Queen's speech and the Mothership at some point will utter this sentence:
"My only wish for you next year is to spend Christmas with a husband. Someone will have to take you eventually."
Thanks.
A great aunt, luckily we only see her once a year. She comes to our house a couple of days before Christmas with gifts. A few drinks later and she starts to take everyones lives apart and tell them how she would do things differently, how her children have made all the right choices in life blah, blah, blah. Anyway her so called perfect children, one has been in prison for terrorism and one has been married 5 times and she is only 46.
Quote: Ned1984 @ December 18 2008, 12:04 PM GMTA great aunt, luckily we only see her once a year. She comes to our house a couple of days before Christmas with gifts. A few drinks later and she starts to take everyones lives apart and tell them how she would do things differently, how her children have made all the right choices in life blah, blah, blah. Anyway her so called perfect children, one has been in prison for terrorism and one has been married 5 times and she is only 46.
Details!
Quote: Ned1984 @ December 18 2008, 12:04 PM GMTA great aunt, luckily we only see her once a year. She comes to our house a couple of days before Christmas with gifts. A few drinks later and she starts to take everyones lives apart and tell them how she would do things differently, how her children have made all the right choices in life blah, blah, blah. Anyway her so called perfect children, one has been in prison for terrorism and one has been married 5 times and she is only 46.
2 words.
"Justifiable homicide"
Quote: sootyj @ December 18 2008, 12:36 PM GMT2 words.
"Justifiable homicide"
It's going to be 10 times worse for me this year because I have a baby and I'm not with the mother, we sort of had a fling for a couple of weeks and she got pregnant. The old bastard is going to love that one. This year I might just say "It could be worse, I could be in prison".
Quote: Ned1984 @ December 18 2008, 12:41 PM GMTIt's going to be 10 times worse for me this year because I have a baby and I'm not with the mother, we sort of had a fling for a couple of weeks and she got pregnant. The old bastard is going to love that one. This year I might just say "It could be worse, I could be in prison".
WHAT? I would would go further than that. Never except ones bringing bad wishes on a baby. You put that person in place quickly.
I have this one cousin who's a bit of a pompous ass. He'll say stuff like "Curt...still in school I presume" using a mocking tone in a crowded room of people.
He was always an annoying ass as a kid, but in his early 20s he won a million dollar house, married this hot Engineer and they have a kid. He thinks he's soooo much better than the rest of us. Especially me, I don't know why I was the one cousin who was probably nicest to him.
Quote: Dr Mato @ December 18 2008, 12:53 PM GMTWHAT? I would would go further than that. Never except ones bringing bad wishes on a baby. You put that person in place quickly.
My dad will this year if she starts on the baby, he is very taken with being a grandad. The baby is only 13 weeks and my mum said he had spent a small fortune on Christmas presents for her.
My Mother-In-Law's coming to stay over Christmas. She's okay but she's a bit of a man-hater and purposely disagrees with everything I say, unless my wife agrees with me in which case she will switch opinion immediately. So a typical conversation will go like this:
ME:
Oh Charlie And The Chocolate Factory's on tonight. I love that film.
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
(SNORTS IN LAUGHTER) Charlie And The Chocolate Factory! How old are you? (SNORTS IN LAUGHTER AGAIN) Do you want some jelly and ice cream to watch it with?
WIFE:
I like Charlie And The Chocolate Factory.
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
(STOPS SNORTING) Yeah it's a good film.
Quote: Dr Mato @ December 18 2008, 11:54 AM GMTDo you have a story to tell about a relative you have to tolerate this season?
No.
Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at Large @ December 18 2008, 12:01 PM GMTMothership at some point will utter this sentence:
"My only wish for you next year is to spend Christmas with a husband. Someone will have to take you eventually."
Thanks.
That's superb.
Quote: Lee Henman @ December 18 2008, 1:03 PM GMT
That is possible the greatest thing I have ever seen
Quote: Ned1984 @ December 18 2008, 12:04 PM GMTA great aunt, luckily we only see her once a year. She comes to our house a couple of days before Christmas with gifts. A few drinks later and she starts to take everyones lives apart and tell them how she would do things differently, how her children have made all the right choices in life blah, blah, blah. Anyway her so called perfect children, one has been in prison for terrorism and one has been married 5 times and she is only 46.
Give her as good as you get.
Start off with critiquing her drinking and loose tongue, take it from there.
Quote: sootyj @ December 18 2008, 12:36 PM GMT2 words.
"Justifiable homicide"
LOL.
To paraphrase a some comedian (I forget who...)
"If you don't have an 'oh that relative I have to deal with at Chrimbo" then you are one.
Quote: dannyjb1 @ December 18 2008, 1:07 PM GMTTo paraphrase a some comedian (I forget who...)
"If you don't have an 'oh that relative I have to deal with at Chrimbo" then you are one.
I like that.
Quote: Ned1984 @ December 18 2008, 12:41 PM GMTIt's going to be 10 times worse for me this year because I have a baby and I'm not with the mother, we sort of had a fling for a couple of weeks and she got pregnant. The old bastard is going to love that one. This year I might just say "It could be worse, I could be in prison".
"... or sponging someone else's hospitality whilst being exceedingly rude and drinking like a fish."